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speedythefirst
TransfemFuck Evangelicalism. Fucking hate the way it destroyed my childhood and continues to poison my family.
I'm sick and tired of the way they continue to ignore my transition even two years in. I don't know if I can continue to be in contact with them anymore and it breaks my heart. I don't know if I can deal with another goddamn holiday season of Christian bullshit.
Fucking hate that my dad is a pastor. Took so much shit away from me because of a mass delusion.
sometimes you gotta realize some people just can't be saved, and the only thing to do is cut ties and run
I no longer speak to my southern baptist parents. They sacrificed my life for their imaginary death god. They learned hate and called it "love". I will never be okay.
If it wasn't called "religion," more people would understand how absurdly dangerous it is to pretend the bible is more truth than fiction. I hope humanity can mature out of harmful superstition.
Wishing you the best. You deserve so much better.
It sounds like You can be independent? If so, drop an ultimatum. Could be like "Is girlie, non-christian me any welcome at this home?" question, yes or no? Drop responsibilities on them lol.
May feel shallow, but... like, none forces anyone to anything. If some pick their own paths, no need to push them to own believes - and that's for both sides?
Could You accept Your father being a pastor if he do accept Your way of being self (and maybe to not spread ugly lies, that religion priests do say all the time, as if Your dad do that too)? Could he accept accept You being Yourself (and attending xmass tree festive)? So, who's the bad one? (I believe I well know the answer).
That may be different per region - I'm living in some commonly religious place too, but many managed, to drop christianity from xmass tree festive, still family meetings happen, still giving gifts to close ones, still having spiky shinny tree at home still cooking extras, having day off from works and so on, but without any religious stuff (religious shit) in it. Some parts of xmass were stolen by capitalism, some are just liked and enjoyable.
Stay cute and safe.
Yea, obviously she cares about them, but is their love for her only “skin deep”?
Evangelicals have a love affair with the old testament, “spare the rod”, “eye for an eye”, etc, and not the teachings of the guy in the new testament of treating people with respect equally regardless of their background or appearance.
I've heard lots of rumours, that some priests are ok, even friendly, it probably happens, somewhere. Also can believe, base christianity teachings are not bad at all, all these do not kill or threat others like You want for self...
What is bad there, it's all that old stuff were corrupted, for money, power.
Also, church holds old stuff like no chance is possible, ever. And then, we came in, we, the wind of change. We, who defy oldest law of human - having binary genders, old style reproductions. We bring freedom of choice - freedom that endangers power. Our (as it's trans, queer space here), our existence is a threat to their existence - if we show more people, there is a choice over old shit - then churches will collapse. I won't blame them for trying their best to survive, still wishes them to die as painful as possible.
You could go and let them know that if they don't start accepting you it'll be the last time they see you. Or you could just not go and tell them that their beliefs make you uncomfortable and feel unwelcome and go low contact for a while. Get them an actual good book on how to properly accept you and give it to them as a pre Holliday present. Read this and follow it, this is my Bible. I dunno.
Going no contact was not a hard choice for me to make when it came down to it. After so many years of my birth parent pretending to accept me but truly showing me the complete opposite over and over, I don't care what happens to her.
Sometimes you gotta do what's best for your own safety. Sometimes having it out causes even more trauma than just letting them know you're done and walk away. You can always leave a door open if you want to, you can tell them you don't want to hear from them again unless they are going to stop sending you military shit and truly respect you. If they try and immediately guilt trip you then fuck them. Some parents can be so fucking narcasistic and manipulative especially if you are asserting boundaries. They hate boundaries the most.
If you have a therapist this would be a great conversation to have with them too.
I wish I could give you the magic formula to fix this. It's so heartbreaking when people who are supposed to unconditionally love you fail over and over to actually do that simple thing. And instead of using their religion in a positive way, and loving you for who you are, use it as a cudgel to tell you how wrong you are about yourself. Just fucking ew.
We love you so much. Please take care of yourself and hopefully you can have a safe Holliday whatever you choose to do about this.
Maybe he would be more receptive to theological arguments, IIRC the US episcopals have good takes on trans people.
coming from a family of tradcaths, i feel this so hard. sending hugs your way
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