TotallynotJessica
egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topicsThis is probably not cool of me to do, but anyway, I don't think I am trans, but sometimes I do wish I were a girl, and I do feel jealous of some of the things girls do, even some of the mostly (probably) meaningless gestures and words they exchange. I don't have any particular opinion about being a man, except there are duties you have to fulfill. But then what about being as you want to be. Things change. You change. You should be allowed to.
This is probably not cool of me to do
Why wouldn't it? Being introspective is fine
Introspection is good. But it can be paralyzing if it leads somewhere you can't actually go. And I'm very prone to analysis paralysis.
Same 😭 I think I'm fine enough being a guy but starting to unlearn the conventions of patriarchy has helped a lot. I recommend The Will to Change: Love, Masculinity and Men by bell hooks, available as an audiobook at !audiobookbay@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Thanks for the recommendation.
That's exactly what I have to do. Unlearn a bunch of stuff. Not just conventions of patriarchy though. Some basic stuff as well
You're 100% trans lol. Enjoy the journey whenever you get started
I wish.
I would not have liked anything more than certainty.
I never really thought much about being a man and generally felt like I was neutral on gender, and sometimes wondered about being a girl. Anyways been in hormones for idk maybe 10 years now and surgery two years ago. It's good to be introspective and whether you find out you are, or aren't, or are some variety of yet to be named, I'm happy for you to be thinking about it :3
Yes. This. I am neutral about being a man. I don't mind it, especially in so far as it's the reality I have to live with. But there is also a big chance I think about wishing to be a girl for the wrong reasons. Gender is a social construct, and I have (over)thought myself to the point where I think I'd very much like it if I could walk that path and for my body to follow. I can't though. Maybe I will (again) some day secretly try in small ways to indulge some of the thoughts.
Everything you write sounds so much like what trans people have felt in their past.
There is this short booklet published online for free. Please do read it! Here: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/
And then... You can actually try the hormones. It takes several months for anything irreversible to take place. That's plenty enough time to feel that it is right indeed.
Most important thing is maybe that cis people would never come to have the thoughts you have.
I had been depressed and anxious throughout my puberty and adult life, until the bottle I had crafted at age 2 or so. And now I am not-depressed for the first time in quarter a century. And that's worth everything!
Thanks. I'm going to read that.
I can't try anything real though. My situation doesn't allow that. And I can't get away from it.
Could I inquire, what is that situation?
Basically I belong to a fundamentalist and backwards country, I was born and raised in a country that doesn't like me (and sometimes can't wait to show it), and I have disappointed myself and people around me in the basic aspects of life. Going for "I think I'm a girl" is a no go every way I look at it. That is, if I am legitimately trans, because my therapist didn't think so.
Girl, I'll give you the official stamp of "we trans people accept you as trans". *Thud*, done
Be yourself when you're at home, boymode when out in the public. Your life will be much better. You'll be the happiest girl you've ever been 💛
I was married to someone who didn't care which helped but I started by just wearing frillier stuff at home, and sometimes a sports bra with nothing in it under my clothes while going outside. Helped dip my toes in while being covert about it to see what I thought. Also things line Rocky Horror are a great way to go hog wild and play it off "oh it's just a costume for this silly movie thing"
Edit: I know this all depends heavily your home situation and what area you live in
I really enjoyed what I tried (makeup). It was the most joy I had felt in years, even despite accentuating some of my "manly" facial features.
But I could never go any further than than that. I have to perform the role I have been given.
Would you be in danger if you didn't fulfill that role?
Probably, in some ways. I don't want to have go to the country I legally belong to but have never lived in. It's probably the worst country in the world.
So if you couldn't perform the role of being a guy, you'd be deported?
Damn. That's like me but expressed in better words than I could find
I'm pretty sure I drunkenly came out to my sister yesterday morning. I asked her how she'd feel about having a little sister instead of a little brother. Yeah. This is kind of real shit even though it's just a comic. Shit gets bottled up over 20 years for sure, no joke
Took years for it to break, but compared to how long it was bottled up, it was really quick.
Works most of the time all of the time
Yeah it was a bit like that. I think one of the things that was frustrating about realizing i was trans is that i spent a lifetime ignoring something that part of me already knew.
Absolutely, same here.
Although, at this point, I have also noticed how I would not have been ready to safely transition much earlier than now. There were a lot of traumas and such that I needed to get reasonably under control first.
I do believe I began my transition as soon as it was possible. Around my fourties. That's how long it took me to be ready for it.
