i got an autism diagnosis before gender dysphoria could bring my grades down to hell :3

The irony is that getting good grades in school often doesn't translate to being good in university/college, most somewhat talented people have to learn how to learn at some point and doing it in university tends to be rather difficult (somewhat depending on what the education system in your country is like). Good luck getting through that gifted kid burnout with all the autism-related struggles on top, all while you're supposed to start being an independent person.

... i am the rawest dog.

tired woof

I tried so hard to mask and all it got me was burnout. If I crashed much earlier, I might have finished uni (or skipped it entirely tbh). The weird part is, I went highly avoidant, skipped classes, non-verbal for months on end (IIRC) and nobody freaking noticed because I still went to tests and scored the bare minimum to the point that every year I might have been held back but the teachers were like "hmm edge case, think they'll manage another year".

::: spoiler Spoiler: I died I also kept my braces in for a year because I missed an appointment and was too anxious to make a new one. :::

It's so fun, amirite? When you are "gifted" as a kid because your grades are really good* so nobody thinks you are autistic because you're not a "retard" and being autistic means being unintelligent.

Sure, you are socially inept, awkward, have stims, tics, strange meltdowns for no apparent reason, are a picky eater... But that must be just that you're a bit weird, you surely can't be autistic because you have good grades!

*: nobody would ever wonder why did I have so good grades in almost anything but in artistic disciplines that required the use of an artistic side that my brain simply didn't have developed. Literallity and aphantasia explained it later in life and also explained together with the rest of my "weirdness" the autism.

It only works, until you massively burn out, whatever crumbles of your life you were still holding together, get totally crushed, and they finally catch you, and diagnose you. And you live the rest of your life mentally, and financially crippled.

even if you got bad grades, you were just lazy and needed to work harder

It's weird. On one hand I'm proud to have overcome a lot of my shortcomings on my own to be able to succeed in spite of being clearly autistic with ADHD, but I wish I hadn't been put in the position of having no other choice, but I know I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

I see a lot of my neurodivergent peers saying they can't do one thing or another, and I feel bad because I know that it's possible with a lot of effort, but then I feel bad because I was never given the option to say I can't do something - I had to succeed.

But I'm still proud of my success, and deep down I'm glad I was forced to overcome my shortcomings instead of continuing to let them hold me back, but I would never want someone else to be forced like that... It's a difficult thing to process.

idk if I have autism or ADHD, though a friend told me I give off very autistic vibes. But every time I look into getting evaluated, their website always says they need school reports from primary school and really want to talk to my parents. That's cool because I got average grades in school (really depended on the teacher) and learned to hide everything that's not "normal" from my family by the age of eight. And let's not forget their super long waiting lists (some are so long that they're closed) and that health insurance doesn't cover diagnoses for adults lmao

Feel this so hard. I think the main thing that happened with me is having good grades, isnt enough career wise. I had to network... but I for the life of me could not do it. Now I have ended up with a job in my field, but its only casual :/ (sooo much better then nothing tho)

Also just because I'm academically inclined dont mean I dont suffer from: poor social skills, meltdowns, sensory issues, auditory processing issues, emotional disregulation, burnout and tics. Not including stims since most of mine are just neutral to good for me.

Back in my day, if you were poor, you didn't even need good grades!

In my country grades are largely meaningless. Universities only accept based on final exam scores. You won't find a single company that will even consider asking about grades. University grades maybe, but even that is rare.

I used to get a lot of good grades as a byproduct of attending classes and studying. As soon as I was near the finals, and coincidentally when classes were online, I stopped attending (or muted Teams), and just spent that time preparing for exams.

Thanks to this I got scores way above the average. Most of my teachers didn't even mind, and agreed with my approach. I happened to have some very good teachers in high school.

I still don't understand why a lot of kids' parents pushed them for good grades. All it did was get them worse exam scores, with no benefits.

It's me, I'm mid diagnostic process right now in my late 30's lol

I grew up in an abusive home where I was not allowed to get bad grades. I once got a 92 on a math test in elementary school and was punished because "it should have been a 100". The school counselor at my kindergarten told my parents I was an anxious child and that they should get me evaluated. Obviously they never did, so I've just been rawdogging anxiety, adhd, and maybe probably autism for the last 30 years.

At this point, idk if i would want "treatment". This is just what my life is like, and I know how to survive like this.

I see Osaka, I upvote.

Also being someone that wasn't diagnosed until adulthood, it's like, wow, my grades were alright, but God forbid you struggle dealing with sorting out ehere to go after

I had to drop out and it's been a huge question of "now what?" for ages now as to how and in what direction to progress.

Embracing stoicism can help break the autism curse. I'm in my mid 30's and I'm just figuring this out.