death rule
(midwest.social)
196Well I'm at the halfway point of my life and only the last two apply to me, so I guess I'm doing better than I thought. Yay for me, I suppose? IDK I'm still broke and miserable like the rest of the working class, which is why #1 doesn't count. That one is completely out of my control so long as we have billionaires.
I wish I had spent more time at the bank.
Makes sense.
The last one is plainly disingenious. Like, implying that yourself are the one that didn't let yourself be happier, and not whatever shitty circumstance in your enviroment, it's a take that a self-help writer would be happy to hear, because they only want you to feel totally responsible and guilty for everything bad that happens to you (Rhonda Byrne, I'm talking to you).
Damn, lots of people dying without having truly lived.
When one of my coworkers was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, his first words were, "Damn, I wish I had drank more beer."
Making a bold prediction here: in 30-40 years' time, one of those will be replaced with something to the effect of "Waste less time on the internet"
I've noticed this with videogames, and tbh I'm kinda surprised more people haven't connected it to there yet. Videogames can be a hobby, but if it's all someone does at home for mental stimulation, I don't forecast it's living to the fullest. When going through a new experience, it can be memorable, yet the grind-heavy nature of most modern games doesn't produce much for memorable moments, and often is forgotten in a month's time save for the knowledge of how much time was spent on that.
Social media is rather similar, in that it mirrors the addictive nature of locking your attention and supplying unmemorable mental stimulation, at the cost of substantial time.
In my completely nonbiased and objective opinion that's factual in every way: This is not healthy. I dont feel anyone will look back and say, "I wish I spent more time getting upvotes," or "I wish I got that cool skin in the game I dont play anymore."
I know I'm absorbed in the internet during most of my waking hours, but my real life is a hellish, traumatizing wasteland. (The experience of being trans in a car-dependant desolated city in an advanced state of capitalist alienation + severe trauma that I cannot realistically get the mental healthcare for or support here to deal with.)
I remember very little of my life. It's like waking up from surgeries for short periods of time and experiencing little melancholic vignettes before going back under for unknown amounts of time. Laughing at stupid comments online in places like this is one of my only sources of joy.
Facing reality isn't the solution to my situation, yet. I need sedation, and maybe then I can recover from my injuries enough to survive going through that process.
I always say it depends on the videogame. Strategy games can even be stimulating as it makes you think more.
Absolutely agree, great to see it written out so well. Took me a long time to come to this realization and part of it was playing even more assuming that the feeling was coming from not being able to spend the time on them I wanted.
Extra devious as the research for engagement and dopamine hooks only keeps improving, most games are just gambling games or choose your own adventure. I've found my quality of life skyrocketing switching to books and puzzles/puzzle games.
Tldr Play Tametsi, experience the joy of gaming again.
Yeah. I play a lot less videogames than I used to.
Sounds like I should be skipping work to have more gay sex
Im off all day, be here in thirty?
I don't think that's what they're saying, but I am completely onboard with this.
Transition took a big bite out of 1,3,5 for me.
I wish I had played more Rimworld. My colony needed me.
I'm old, not staring death in the face, but old
- Don't be an employee. It's better to own your own business picking up dog shit than to work for somebody else. They steal so much money from you, and pay you pennies. They're not a family, they hate you.
- Don't believe anything the government, press, or religious authorities tell you. They're usually lying, they're twisting the truth at best.
- Don't trust anybody that flatters you regularly. They are manipulating you for their own purposes.
- Consider any money that you loan out to be lost. It's a great way to get rid of people that you find tiresome. Give them a loan, and they disappear. It's like magic!
- Don't try to pick up heavy things, back pain is forever.
Don't trust anybody that flatters you regularly. They are manipulating you for their own purposes.
Yeah don't trust your gf ????
I should've known it was too good to be true!
Ten years now... What's her angle, I wonder...
I think the dying are maybe not a reliable source of life advice or possible future regrets. Maybe find some healthy 60 year olds or something
I think many people feel that there is a special emotional or even spiritual weight to dying, and that how you feel about your life at that time matters extra. Is that sensible compared to experiencing feelings for longer while you're still alive? Maybe not. But I think there's something to the idea that how it ends it how it finally is forever after that, even if you aren't around to know about it anymore.
Very well said. It doesn't really make sense, but that's how it feels
They missed out "I wish I spent more time arguing online with strangers"
Bro get the fuck out of here with that shit!
Clearly you waste your time on stupid things like "friends" and "empl*yment", instead of productive things like spending 12 hours a day complaining about video games online
No you! You leave first! Fuck you!
Whoa, can you both please just calm down a bit. Have a think about what you've just said to each other. THEN GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY INTERNET.
My dad invented the internet and he says you cunts better get lost or he'll send over the cyber police!!
I wish I paid more attention to where I was walking and hadn’t fallen off that cli
I mean I feel like he’s been done a historical disservice because in fairness they didn’t hit any elephants.
Apparently one common thought of people that survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge is not "in glad it's all over now", but "I could have solved all those problems except for having just done this".
I'm not sure I buy that in cases of really bad depression, but in more situational situations, yeah, I'm sure realising you have the power to even just walk away or stop caring about some big stressor is probably really powerful.
Ofc in the regular world most people would rather die than, say, walk out on their family or their job.
So in other words, the things they are wishing for are what kill you early.
How is this survivor bias?
People that didn't work hard and live boring lives conforming to societal expectations died younger and weren't interviewed.
That's an interesting thought. I've always told the people I've managed that no one's on their death bed wishing they worked harder, especially when they're not using all their vacation time or parental leave.
If we could ask those who died young, worked into an early grave, would they be content to have died for their manager? Exhausted, with feelings unspoken, friendships neglected, and happiness deferred? One of my colleagues is a literal workaholic and would probably say yes to all (but they know not everyone is like them and doesn't expect the same from the rest of us.) I suppose we must imagine Sisyphus happy.
For me, there is profound difference between finding meaning in a burden we choose to carry and pushing someone else's boulder.
They had time to answer a poll before dying.
Yeah, the regrets we're missing from the non survivor pool are:
- I wish I had worn the harness
- I shouldn't have stood in front of that stampede of horses
- Should have fixed my brakes
- No one told me I wasn't supposed to BBQ in the nursery
- Oh, the for profit health insurance industry is meant to destroy those who need it most, shit, maybe if I rob a bank I'll have enough to cure my cancer or the cops will shoot me to death. Shoulda been born somewhere else.
Just be quicker then
I wish I'd got a tattoo that said no ragerts
You should aim to have these regrets because it's the people who lived long enough to be interviewed on their death bed that have them. The people who died suddenly probably have regrets like "I wish I hadn't been texting while driving."
"I wish I had more bullet holes on my wingtips and the central section of the fuselage, and maybe some on the elevator."
"I wish I hadn't been pulled into the ore crushing machine by my sleeve while on the 15th hour of my shift because it's the only way in this town to make enough money to pay for the medicine my son needs to fight the disease this town and refinery caused in him"
But I guess maybe that counts as "I wish I didn't work so much"
If they only kill themselves, it's a benefit to humanity
I'm a motorcyclist and I HATE people using their phones while driving
As an ex-motorcyclist and current cyclist, eyes on a swivel, everyone on the road is a fucking idiot or one distraction away from being a ton of death metal. Bike infra is so peaceful. Phones, Valium, Passenger, Sleep deprivation, whatever, just assume the worst. Situational awareness is your friend, anticipate the idiocy.
As a current motorcyclist, everyone on the road is a fucking idiot, including me
Damn, I am a-ok on all those points since transitioning.
Wait, does that mean I'm dy
RIP 😭🪦
...can I have your stuff?
Notice who's in the sample: people who had enough to afford end-of-life care and was open enough for a stranger to sit by the bed and listen. That's mostly the middle class, privileged compared to those who die with nobody asking them anything. But read regret #2 again. These are people who worked their whole lives producing someone else's income, with better rights than a servant but the same basic position. At the very end, they see it, when they don’t have to work for somebody else anymore! Above them, the wealthy die in private settings, with staff under confidentiality agreements. Ware couldn't have gotten near them, and their nurses couldn't have talked even if she had. Below the middle class, nobody has the time for retrospection. So this isn't the regret of the dying. It's the regret of the people who were allowed to be asked and had education and money to talk to someone.
I have a >!deserved!< reputation for sometimes having a stick up my arse
But you have stick-ception. The stick up your arse has a stick up its arse.
I am the stick, and this look indeed like an arsehole
Which country was this done in though? That would only apply in the US.
Quick edit - just looked it up, apparently it was done in Australia.
Not as different as I'd like.
Not everything is class war, knock it off
Yeah it is.
Oh how I wish that were true
The only justified war is cladd war.
Merci pour votre précieuse contribution, j'ai hâte de lire la prochaine contribution pleine d'esprit. Bisous bisous
Lemmy users have the uncanny ability to spin everything as class warfare. Everything.
Current at work and focusing hard on #2.
Constipated?
They can think that, getting paid to poop on company time.
Did they ask any adhd people? Wish I’d been able to actually finish those projects or learn whatever skill…
Of course not, we were busy being overwhelmed by the process of death and staring holes into the ceiling.
What if it was the floor, oh no, you'd fall through it because it's that sort of thin plastery material they use in old offices. Oh no! Is that symbolic for falling into hell? Na don't worry the floor beneath is solid, only thing that's gonna happen is it being crushed and get dirty. Anyway...
Stop putting my soul out there ffs!
I'm working on #2.
Work harder on it!
Working hard or hardly working?
I wish I was never born...
"I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all."
Back when I was younger and stupider and in my urban exploration days, I broke into a condemned library slated for demolition via a steam tunnel and sprayed a fire extinguisher all around on the roof. It’s kinda fun, but like, not fun enough that anyone should have significant regrets they didn’t get to try it.
Spoken from a place of pure privilege.
I warmly advise everyone to register for free half-day firefighting training anywhere. Any fire security representative anywhere will tell you that we need way more people that know what to do in case of fire, and how to spray an extinguisher, obvi.
Absolutely true and if that's cool and you enjoy it join your local volunteer firefighter organization! As a volunteer you aren't allowed inside a burning building without extra training but are allowed to help outside where it's much safer and still pretty epic. The US is short roughly 700k volunteer firefighters, and many areas simply cannot afford paid staff. There are areas that have only 2-3 volunteers every 50 sq miles.
There's tons of fun stuff to do outside like breaking down doors, breaking windows, cutting through the roof with a chainsaw, and connecting to some kind of water supply. There's also vehicle rescue with cutters and spreaders, search and rescue, vehicle maintenance, and a ton of community relations stuff like fundraising and teaching folks how to use fire extinguishers. My station has volunteers who only do equipment maintenance, some who only do community relations, and some who only respond to calls with rope rescue like cliffs and trees and stuff. Some of our volunteers only drive the engine or tower, and operate the pumps. Since you're a volunteer you get to pick what you want to do and can say no to anything. There's an extremely low fitness bar to volunteer. This isn't FDNY. Half our volunteers are 65+. We've got members who are >350lb. Some can't move a charged hoseline but are great at going to schools to teach fire prevention week classes. Some just show up to cook meals and write fundraising letters. I cannot express enough how much effort it is to keep a station going, there's something for everyone and there would still be hundreds of jobs left undone.
It takes a bit of time, but the community at my station is filled with folks who are extremely tight knit. I've never felt anything like it and have enjoyed my years as a volunteer immensely. I can't recommend it enough. Folks were weird and standoffish for a year but once they realized I wasn't going anywhere they opened up and now we're constantly hanging out together. My TTRPG group is from the firehouse. A bunch of us go to Renfaires together, or Rough and Tumble, and vacation together. It's pretty wild how tight knit you get after a few years of actually trusting each other in dangerous situations.
Also if you get into it long enough, usually your station will get a grant for you to get interior firefighter cert so you can wear an SCBA and go inside a burning building. That's when it starts to get even more exciting and fun because now you're going into a dangerous atmosphere and having to really think on your feet.
I've sprayed a bunch of fire extinguishers, and it's always fucking awesome.
The best are powder, because you get the thrill of not being entirely sure what the powder is and how much it fuck up your lungs. But co2 are also good because they're LOUD.
The powder ones are almost certainly filled with baking soda unless it's some crazy class K then who the hell knows
Fuck future me, he's an asshole, he gets all my stuff.
Average boomer contemplating their kids.
"I wish I was a little bit taller."
“I wish I was a baller.”
"I wish I had a girl that looked good."
“I would call her”
I wish I was baller
#4
Why should I live my life for the sake of how I will feel about it on the ONE last day of it?
I don't think that people are dying with a mind that suddenly changed. They just have hindsight to know that they spent too much time worrying about shit they shouldn't have worried about, and instead should have spent time being happy and free
yeah i kinda much rather live my life avoiding the things i regrett rn, like not seeing my family enough, losing touch with my friends and not making any new ones, feeling like i got no time for fun and all i do is work and minimally recover from work to work again, but also not working enough to achieve the things i actually care about
honestly kind of a similar list
If you are happy then you probably aren't doing too badly
1 - That "No Regerts" tatoo
well. no issues with any of those. wonder what mine will/would be.
"I wish I hadn't commented on that post." /j
