The Picard Maneuver
People TwitterI’ll never forget about the guy on reddit who talked about his poop knife 😳
Apparently super common and a religious thing.
Never thought I'd feel so warm towards a toilet brush before I read that story.
That was so long ago, and still to this day pops into my head.
Though I had no idea it was a religious thing! That’s news to me, though I’m not sure I want to Google and learn more about it.
The plan of what to get at the grocery store is an actual physical list people fill out as they think of things they need
The only way that my spouse and I remotely come close to buying everything we need at the store is by using AnyList and training ourselves to add items to it the very moment we realize we need it. I've pulled out my phone in the middle of a doctor consultation just to add "Cat Litter" to the list, because I know if I didn't do it then, I'd forget, and wouldn't remember again until it was too late and the cats were already in active revolt.
And not just randomly thinking of things.
Figuring out what ingredients need to be used soon.
Then using that to plan out what meals will be made between now and the next shopping trip.
The figuring out what’s needed to make those.
Then figuring out what from that list you already have.
Then subtracting the “already have” list from the combined ingredient list of those planned meals.
Then writing that list down.
I realized later in life both my parents had a weird idea of what love meant.
So that's what I had to figure out later in life. I'm not complaining, glad someone showed me.
Pocket knives every day, everywhere, coming out of your ears. Weirded me the hell out the first time I got in trouble for having a small, helpful little tool in my pocket. I was taught how to safely handle one when I was 8, and have always had one in my pocket since I was 14.
Like... of course I have a pocket knife. I have a spare in my backpack to give away, I have a collection at home, and I have favorite styles and designs. They're great gifts, they're always useful, fit in your pocket, and weigh nearly nothing. Why don't you?
Europeans in shambles.
That sounds a lot like Albacete and Andalucía with all those navajas, especially the gifting part (Navajas de Albacete are a well-known souvenir here in Spain)
If I had a nickel for every time I've mistaken a knife for a mollusc..
There's an entire group of molluscs called "razor clams", and their shells can be sharp enough to knick skin. I have lost enough faith in humanity, I would wager that at least one person has accidentally left the house with a pocket clam.
Oooooooh. Those are pretty. New quest item unlocked. <3
At my uni, we technically have a rule banning pocket knives on campus, but because we have engineering and animal science students on campus, it's not a big deal when you see people carry pocket knives.
I think my university had similar, however almost every engineering student had one....
Animal science I get, but why do engineering students need them?
it's for threatening slow walkers who are blocking the way from the eng students' fifth to sixth lecture of the day across campus after getting out of a 2 hour shitty lab period
They just think they're neat. :)
Ah, the Marge Simpson justification. Fair enough 😁
Can we start a separate chain to hear about the awful ones?
My family keeps and uses toothbrushes at the kitchen sink, because when I was growing up I didn't want to get poop particles from the toilet on my toothbrush.
The rest of my family just kind of followed along.
You are a scholar. I don't even want other people's toothpaste moisture on my toothbrush
Good instinct but isn't this what bathroom cupboards (the one with the mirror that you put above the sink) are for?
Also close toilet lid when flushing.
Yes, that reduced the quantity but does not eliminate it.
Hope you don't breathe while in the bathroom
That's a weirdly specific curse..
I worry about pooh on my toothbrush. But I got these toothbrush covers instead.
I suck it out before brushing my teeth
Make sure to swish afterwards so none of it gets stuck between your teeth
I must be the only decent HOA president around, the way everyone else is bad-talking them. A couple months ago, I got all five buildings full of townhomes re-roofed, and came in under-budget by ten percent. I also got to pick the roof shingle color, and I went with deep black.
I’m in this role cause I was the only person who showed up to the annual board meeting who wasn’t the board. Honestly I felt a bit like Michael from the Good Place—rest of the board vacated and then I had twenty-seven people’s homes in my hand? Very odd.
But I’ve done my best to be a good steward to the neighborhood. I bet people don’t even think the weird old lady with a cane taking pictures of pretty stuff is the president. They just see me doing whatever I do and don’t even know.
I think the difference between me and lawn-measuring karens is that I’m not a dick.
I think it's one of those roles where you if do it well, no one will notice.
There's also a big difference between a condo/townhouse HOA and a suburban neighborhood one. Condo HOAs are focused on maintaining shared facilities and that would otherwise be too expensive for the owners to care for. Suburban HOAs for single family homes are all about enforcing uniformity and control.
In both cases their are shared maintenance expenses for the allotment. Like roads, drainage, and other things taxes would pay for but they cut themselves off from city by allowing an HOA.
Shitty that they even exist and anyone thinks it's a good idea to trust unqualified people to manage projects they have no experience in usually. All a scam to let the developers cut costs and pass it onto the residents.
Now most of these HOAs are managed by older residents and most of them have a "I'm gonna die, why should I care" attitude about future planning.
roads, drainage, and other things taxes would pay for but they cut themselves off from city by allowing an HOA.
Wtf?! That's insane!
Shitty that they even exist and anyone thinks it's a good idea to trust unqualified people to manage projects they have no experience in usually. All a scam to let the developers cut costs and pass it onto the residents.
rAmen!
I think the difference is you got handed power/responsibilities nobody wanted and other hoa presidents sought it out for the power
In my experience you are definitely the exception. Good on ya
If you shingled my house with deep black, I'd call for your removal.
I live in NM, and you'd turn my house into an oven.
Fortunately, my HOA has no restrictions on shingle colors. I chose the whitest once I could get. My HOA is decent, mostly they just deal with the landscape company, and keep people from trashing their own yards. I haven't raked leaves or mowed a lawn in nearly 30 years. My front yard always looks good.
It’s good that I’m in Portland where it doesn’t roast. And if you call for my removal, I’d gladly step aside. Means you’d be the president then. I was drafted into this role against my will, and so would you be.
But these are townhomes, not stand-alone houses. The three houses in the confines of the neighborhood pay enough money to maintain the street they’re on, but they’re excluded from roofing and painting costs.
I was drafted into this role against my will
JFC
Basically, if I didn’t accept the position, the HOA would enter into a receivership and everyone’s fees would have to go up, to cover the cost of administration.
So I stepped up.
nods
The Santa Clause rules
<<HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!>>
I never had an HOA that wasn't abysmal, so I'd say you are a very good exception.
Spoiler: You're not
I guess you’re right. There are no decent HOA presidents. But how would people who share a building collaborate on things like roofing and painting otherwise? They’d have to come up with the money eventually or things would fall into disrepair.
If I’m a dick for doing this, then so be it. Folks need durable and maintained buildings. I’m not even being paid.
My mom didn't know how to drive and neither did my grandmother and that translated into "women can't drive". I was terrified when my friends mom drove us to school for the first time.
My mother hates driving and tried to avoid it and my grandma didn't, neither did my aunt until my uncle died in his mid 50s. Never really thought about this until now.
I used to think coffee was for men and tea was for women because of the adults in my family’s preferences
There’s a whole group of people near me with this problem (not cars though). I think they may have cracked it this generation around as there’s very few boys.
Aside from "him", that's basically Gladys from Over the Hedge :P
This is how myths can lead to morality. If we all grew up with stories like this there wouldn’t be any HOAs
Yea too bad decent people dont lie to their kids enough about things that are just a little evil and make them into huge deals.
...and then the driver didn't signal to turn and the cement truck couldn't stop and crushed the driver to death. Remember kids, be predictable when driving.
Treating people outside of the family as outsiders and constantly reiterating that we have each others back even if we're in the wrong.
Nope, that's some weird shit.
at first i thought "nah, we were perfectly normal" and then i remembered hanging the winter door.
Like replacing the screen door with one with windows, or hanging a new main door?
the house had an extra set of door hinges on the inside, and we had an extra door we put up behind the regular door in winter to kep the heat in.
it used to be more common but i don't think i've seen it on a house built after the 1920s.
Many homes have storm doors, usually on the outside. But, if the door swings out, instead of in, then the only place for a storm door is on the inside. Most front doors swing in, but not all.
only place i've ever seen doors that swing inwards is north america. it's such a weird setup; the wind pushes through but inside air gets trapped.
Like, how your family has a poop knife in the bathroom?
/s
Tbf HoAs, and by proxy their presidents, are loathsome in nearly every manner.
Bros before hoas.
This totally happened
It's so weird to me that someone saying something so benign and perfectly plausible, if a bit far fetched, but funny whether true or not, gets some people worked up enough to not only not believe them based on nothing but their gut feeling, but to publically announce "yea right! Didn't happen! Nothing ever happens that's not a normal thing for me!"
I think it's just people with very limited life experience. They're young and/or perpetually online.
Nothing ever happens.
