Chewed lolipops oit of stress, now my molars hurt, might've broke them.

its been seven years since I realized I was trans. What a mistake its all been. Now I'm alone, am schizo, seeking God but finding no response, and back in my childhood bedroom. Its all been for naught, I'm legally a woman and have been on HRT for five years but I still Look Like This. I am still me.

Can I not emphasize the "alone" enough?

i think maybe i'm just not built for these shoes... size 11 was too small, but 12 almost feels too big while still pressing on my toes

back to the drawing board i guess...

My doll hobby is the only thing keeping me sane atm.

Currently restoring an old Elissabat doll. Really proud of how it’s turning out.

black templars are just the chud chapter

(maybe) not all black templar players are chuds but if youre a chud you are playing black templars

I'm so tired, alone and naive. I feel violent and in the wrong skin.

I love Autumn and specifically October

They need to invent a haircut experience that isnt a humiliating waste of time and money.

October best month

October is a wonderful month, Its homey and marks the end of the difficult times, the beginning of the happy cozy times. Summer is hard. I'm glad its moving on now.

Since it is Spooptober… Wanted to give a quick plug for /c/creepy, a comm dedicated to spoopy stuff. You should check it out if you’re into that sort of thing.

Continuing off my previous post

24 bits are kinda trash for storing numbers through the prime factor format. But 24 bits is even less than ordinary integers, and maybe we can do better. If we allow upto 32 bits (like ordinary ints), then we have 6 more bits for adding in 11 as a prime factor as well as 2 leftover bits. One of those bits could be a sign, allowing for negative numbers. Another could be fucking anything idk.

Now this way of doing things ... isn't not necessarily too bad, but we could try to improve?

First, we can store the exponents as a 2's complement. Search it up. It's slightly more efficient than storing signed integers. Basically in signed ints, +0 and -0 are stored as 2 seperate numbers even though they are functionally the same. In 2s complement, this is fixed.

I had 6 bit for the exponent. 1 for the sign. 3 for the powers (upto 7th power). 2 for the roots (upto 4rth root)

With 2's complement we can change to 4 bits for the powers and 2 for the roots. This allows the powers to range from -8 to +7

Which is ... wierd? And stupid? I don't think -8 is a very common power to use. Imagine being able to store 1/256 exactly, but not 13. A better way imo is to go 2 bits for the powers and 2 for the roots. This restricts the powers down to -4 to 3 which isn't super nice, but has the advantage that prime factors are now stored as 4 bit blocks. This plays nicely with the computer.

Now I introduce my next trick. Not every prime factor is equal. 2 and 5 are important. So I can give 8 bits to the each of them. That's 16 bits. Then the remaining 16 bits are divided into 4 other prime factors (3, 7, 11 and 13).

Sometimes I'll cry for seemingly no reason at all, which can be frustrating. But then I'll remember the state of things broadly and realize there are so many reasons to cry all the time. So really any time I'm not sobbing has got to be a win

::: spoiler one of my favorite singers giving me gender euphoria (because we look similar) in his glam rock era

:::

October fucking rules.

::: spoiler spoiler ::: spoiler suicide Genuinely why. Why am I here. My life has been horrible. The next few years are going to be even worse. I am so dysphoric. So far off of what I would be comfortable in. 6 months, one year, whatever. Ruined and everything is miserable. I am okay only if I don't think about anything. Dysphoria, coming out, voice training, medical system, fascism, climate change. What am I doing. Why am I continuing. I don't want to and there's nothing on the other side.

I should kill myself. I don't want to do this. Life is a complete fuck and I have only the other members of this rat fuck species to blame. Fuck them.

I don't want to do this. I am so done. :::

let it be known, i love my wife

up with trans

::: spoiler sadness and doomerism (also mentions of SA, racism and transphobia) I thought I would wake up feeling better today, but I'm not, the election yesterday fucked me up, the next 4 years are gonna be tough, the only hope we have for presidency is Lula waking the fuck up and doing everything to win in October 25th against Flávio Bolsonaro, which is gonna be though because every single other relevant candidate's base is gonna flock directly to him instead of Lula.

Not only that but even tho the Radical Left has had the best campaign we had in decades, with UP basically doubling their numbers from the last election, it is still far from enough, specially when the nazi Missão only legalized themselves this year and already surpassed us by a lot, their president candidate, Renan Santos ended up in 4th place with ~2,3% of the votes (2,6 million votes), I even started calling him by his real name, Hitler Santos, because that's what this piece of shit is. This fascist fuck got that many votes while saying that he wants to exterminate the favelas, even going as far as to call one of them "Planet of the Apes", and also threatening to sexually assault a woman

There's still a bit of hope outside of that as Jones Manoel, Humberto Matos, Érika Hilton, Sâmia Bomfim, Elias Jabbour, Renato Freitas and others were elected but they are such a small minority, I hope they do everything in their power to change as much as they can, Jones and Humberto already said they want to use their election to further build the communist movement and help organize a large amount of people since one of the main issues with communist parties/orgs here is that not a single one of them have the structure and capacity to organize large amounts of people, they are already struggling with the small numbers we have right now.

These people are a beacon of hope right now, but it still feels so bleak, the right won everywhere, most of Brasil will now be ruled by far-right politicians, even some of the more "leftist" states are fucked. My state elected a trans woman (Érika Hilton) with 1,5 million votes, but also elected the most pathetic transphobe right-winger in existence (Lucas Pavanato) with 3 million votes, his election campaign was all about trans people, the only thing left to say was that he wanted to straight up exterminate us.

I'm so fucking tired :::

Just got our influenza shot! Everyone praise Princess for being so brave

Waiter comes to take orders

Brother, dad, dad's partner, and sister all get gendered prompts

My turn

"And how about for yourself?"

😑

Cuckoo might be shaping up to be even more tough than Manhunt bweh, have had to stop reading and take a break multiple times and were only like 1/3rd thru. Lowkey gave us a panic attack /mostly joking cuz while we did have a panic attack after reading it was mostly other stuff that caused that

Rly good too tho, so wanna keep reading :3 i love Shelby the book keeps being so mean to her :(

(Touches Power Bank board. Quickly stops touching it.)

Okay! Yeah! I think that 22.5W spec on the AliExpress listing is pretty accurate!

Yeah I bought one of those "IP5356" based power bank modules off AliExpress. Soldered a battery up to it, hooked it up via a USB-C to USB-C cable into a (honestly quite nice even if overpriced) 12V car phone charger, and that into my solar power setup.

Yeah it negotiated a higher voltage, and it got it!

Well shit, the PCB itself is absolutely not enough heat-sinking for this thing. Don't have any proper way of mounting a heatsink that'll also be electrically isolated. I have cheap thermal paste and cellophane office tape!

.....Yeah I'd much rather use a thermal pad.

Good board though, I'm impressed!

down with cis

Still naive, a naive idiot

Just did my injection! A day late but nbd

ahh yis first

I made some japanese curry on the fourth day of october ! Roasted it in the oven in a cast iron pot, with several kinds of vegetables.