newshttps://archive.ph/7fsYT
I think literally the only way America could ever win or have won this would be to have done it 30 years ago when its technology and military buildup would have been an advantage, or to like, not piss off both Russia and China and work with one or both (unlikely to be China in either case) to invade and partition it
Or like pick a fucking lane between supporting Iraq vs Iran instead of trying to Both Sides it until Iraq lost and invaded Kuwait
like i literally do not know what the american ruling class is thinking. good for the rest of the world that it couldn't decide and act on a coherent strategy but like my god what is wrong with them
it's all going to be millions of fractured ideas about dousing their weaponry in bacon grease
How to punish Iran:
- Put a whoopie cushion on the ayatollah's chair
- Cover Iran's frat house in toilet paper
- Put dog shit in a paper bag, light it on fire right outside the Iran border, ring the doorbell and run!
- Order like a 100 anchovy pizzas for the ayatollah
call the ayatollah gay and imply that his dick is small
I really want to see what goes on in the minds of American troops, it would be really convenient if someone leaked that chat of whatever they're saying.
It's just going to be
- murder more civilians
- nuke them
- ask Israel if we can murder less scary Palestinians or Lebanese people instead
The ven diagram of troop chat and chat on a call of duty lobbies would just be overlapping circles. I don't know if you would really gleam any useful context from a bunch of idiotic 18 year olds. You might learn some new slurs popular with zoomers?
lmao this reminds me of a similar situation with my old job. Bro went bankrupt after a few years
leave them alone long enough for me, the boot suggesting this, to run out my contract.
What if we eroded morale. By creating a cartoon series where Spongebob fights and beats Soleimani.
"If it was our own country, what would it take to make you give up?"
make a diplomatic call and ask them if their fridge is running
We killed their schoolgirls, called the new Ayatollah gay and we're all out of ideas!
Damn they should ask an LLM, that will give them allthe groundbreaking and creative ideas they need.
I did this out of curiosity to see what it suggests. It's giving me:
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basically total sanctions and economic blockade. Not gonna work, ya dumb robot, pretty sure they tried it
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basically suggested continuing doing what they're doing, bombing whatever missile/drone/etc areas they can + "precision" strikes on leaders. It's still not working, lying machine!
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have regional allies take the brunt of counter attacks
And it's like lol that's just what they're doing to lose
I asked it to try really hard to think of a good solution for this crisis and it was basically like "try diplomacy"
You are correct, the Pentagon is not in Iran. I will drop the nuke there next time.
It's time for Gus Chiggins.
ideas to punish Iran
Is this acceptance that they can't even imagine a winning scenario?
ZERG RUSH THE STRAIT!!!!
Actually with how well trained and invincible the US Marines are, it's more of a zealot rush - average Non Credible Defense Redditor
But yes the USA should absolutely rush the strait with every single special forces troop they have! I'm fully in support of this plan.
How about a good old photon cannon rush?
"Can we put Seal Team 6 in a large wooden horse outside of Tehran?"
Idea: Lindsey Graham's corpse JDAM. Drop it on Iran and they will be cursed.
Sail your entire fleet of aircraft carriers through the Strait of Hormuz. The strength on display would make them immediately surrender.
:zapp-brannigan:
Make sure to do a GWB-style presidential landing on an aircraft carrier once in the strait
Have they considered depicting Iran as the crying wojak?
Dunno how much use that'd be against those weird AI generated Lego videos in which Iran's dossier on Trump lists his name as "LOSER"
Don't siege the strait, just take it.
Just take the L.
It's inevitable they have to there's literally no winning this war outside of massive losses and pissing off even more of the population. So I'd imagine eventually they'll just slink off and be like "oh yeah we would have won but the second controller was broken!" then invade Cuba.
Even massive losses wouldn't win the war at this point if it ever would have lmao.
"oh yeah we would have won but the second controller was broken!"
You know it's just going to be 'stabbed in the back' again
Translation: warcrimes.
Creative and Unconventional is the new Cruel and Unusual.
Are they going to start doing weird shit they used to do where they would do things like drop gay porn on their enemies?
The Men Who Stare at Goatse
Pun of the year right here! Just habd the award over now
Airdrop a bunch of magic eye images to distract the enemy and get 'em while their eyes are crossed.
lol
The 2 weeks war is still going on?
You've heard about weeks were decades happen, now get ready for weeks that last decades!
It's just going to be boot marines saying "please sir, please drop a tactical nuke on them"
if I was the USAF I'd ask my guys how to win it instead
