It's just a question
(midwest.social)
People TwitterI think the proper rephrasing should be, "Would you suck one ape dick to save every human?"
It is physically possible (unlike "every" ape dick) and shapes up as a lose-lose: OP's either a hypocrite or an ape-dick sucker.
How exactly are we more.important?
Earth probably hates us and thinks we're parasites.
Earth needed us to create plastic, once we’ve created that in sufficient numbers it will restart with the additional resource availability
what obscure reference is this?
The entire survival/crafting/basebuilding genre.
Pacific Garbage Patch would go hard for a post apocalyptic scavenger.
we can steal copper out of flock cameras. can you train a monkey to do that?
Possibly?
"no it would take to long" is what I would answer if I was him
Skill issue
i had an exclusive tour of a preserve in the congo because my sister was dating this guy who worked there (she loves BBC for some reason), and i met a few gorillas up close and personal. you're never gonna believe this one, but one of them (her name was gretchen) shared a peach with me because she was full, and while i was eating it--are you ready?--she wrapped one arm around me in a warm embrace; that soft exterior gave way to a burst of sugary nectar that tasted as sweet as anything out of a factory with 50g of sugar, including coca cola and little debbie.
but it was the love that made it so sweet.
i've never even felt that kind of unconditional love out of my children; that kind of love that's sprouted from seeds planted by a hand with a deep understanding of the human condition, with all of its pains and glories; you don't need the cosmos when you're so in touch with the ragged soil of earth.
my son and daughter told me they hate me because i wouldn't buy them a ps5 and this was after i built a totally modern gaming rig and sprung for the best graphics card and a 4tb SSD that they refuse to fill up all the way because piracy is immoral. but they wanted to play the new persona, and i love them, so i bought them the ps5 and they haven't changed their attitude. now they want veja sneakers even though the new balance t500 has a sleeker silhouette, a timeless vintage style and costs $100 less.
i still think of getchen from time to time and how she had a better figure than my wife.
I hate that I couldn't get past BBC without getting stuck on whether the broadcaster was somehow involved or whether OP ponders their sister's appreciation for spade tatoos.
Humans are apes numb nuts
haha jokes on you all my nuts are truck nuts.
wait that makes all my trucks trans
Shhh we almost got Matt to suck a bunch of dick
you would be surprised how often i've needed this
I can't say I'm thrilled about being murdered but the fellatio beforehand is some consolation I suppose. I wonder who the lucky one to be spared will be.
As if Matt Walsh would save LGBTQ, non-Christians and people of color
Actually, I've been contacted by every ape on this subject. They are mostly tops and would like to, you know. Anyway they are ok with condoms because these days it's a no brainer.
I’d punch one Matt Walsh in the face to save all humans from having to read this fucking drivel.
I don't believe you. Get cracking.
And remember, power comes from the hips. Not the fist. Wind up, let loose, and punch through the object.
Don't punch the face, try to punch the back of the skull, and beyond, but through the face.
Chop chop, daylight's a wasting.
you want a straight line from your foot through your hip through your fist through the back of their face. you're punching with your back foot too.
Great lesson on follow-through.
That’s factually false.
He can save a lot of humans every day by doing something humanitarian and does not.
The only logical inference is that his motivation is not saving humans but killing apes.
Yep, lol.
Would you kill all apes to save one human? "Sure!"
Would you donate $500 to save one human? "Fuck no!"
Logical conclusion: "rather kill all apes than donate 500$". Anyone with this mindset is a trash human being.
Maybe he just loves killing?
My assessment stands
Killing all humans probably does more good overall than saving one.
"I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to chimpanzee..." 🎶
Besides, if he DID kill all apes, the damage to complex ecosystems across the world that rely on interdependent species including apes would DEFINITELY lead to the deaths of more than one human.
Probably at least two.
Technically if he killed all apes killing all humans would be part of that process.
That's technically still within the "at least two" range 😉
The best kind of correct.
The best kind of correct is where somebody sees the error of their ways and becomes a better person and its because you were goddamn right.
'Technically correct' is , at best, the 3rd best kind of correct.
no, the best kind of correct is when you find four stamps.
Hermes Correct, lol
Even 3!
Likely! Possibly 5!
Which fact? The post is just two dickheads mouthing off at each other...
I think the environmental knock-on effect of wiping out all gorillas might cause more than one human to die in the future, directly or indirectly.
Also, gorilla dicks are small and they cum pretty much instantly, so you could easily get through all gorillas on Earth in an afternoon. Matt Walsh might get it done in 20 minutes, what with his extensive experience of sucking huge amounts of dick on Twitter.
How do you know the last part?
Game recognize game
Lmao
But for Republicans and conservatives in general it's about projecting power. Sucking off gorilla dicks do nothing to project power whereas killing a bunch of gorillas do.
Humans are apes.
This is a very simple concept, folks.
And he'll kill em all to save one.
As an ape, I don't know if I'm cool with Matt Walsh sucking my dick to save a human life.
I dunno, it would mean that he's gotten close enough to me to stomp on his fucking face so might be worth it.
I'm cool with it. For clout. I'm not even into dudes, but I'd like to contribute to his misery.
I hadn’t thought of it like that. Count me in for the story to tell, I guess.
Death cause: Choked on dick
Now that's a complement!
I can only assume the single downvote is an error.
Or someone who thinks this kind of deliberate misunderstanding is unhelpful
On Voyager, I have gestures for swipe to downvote and swipe farther to save. So, rarely, I downvote accidentally because my stupid ape thumbs don't work. I've downvoted my own comments in solidarity.
I'm on Summit and I have the same set up. Based on the fact most of these comments have a downvote at least, I suspect it isn't accidental and just a weirdo who hasn't come to terms with basic science that even most of the fundamentalists agree with.
You could just go to Lemvotes and figure out the specific users who did as well.
Yeah, your upvotes and downvotes are public.
There are some religious weirdos here, so it could be them taking offence to a basic scientific reality
I'll wager he's also done sweet fuck all to save any human
Quick Matt, you have to kill these apes to save this blavk person.
Uh...
quite the opposite. he is implicit in violence, calling for death to lgbt and POC people.
Well yeah. When was the last time you saw someone who could be saved by genociding entities that haven't cracked fire and sharpened sticks?
When was the last time you saw someone who could be saved by genociding entities that haven’t cracked fire and sharpened sticks?
Every malaria victim.
No, sucking monkey peen is just fun
I would. Then I would fuck the human in the ass. Cheap bargain for everyone involved if you ask me.
Humans are apes so I assume this means he'll kill every last one of us to save himself.
nancy reagan sucked a ton of dicks and we still got the crack epidemic
To be fair, Nancy is widely regarded as the throat goat
Well, you can't say she didn't try.
Good old Nance the Throat GOAT
I mean, we don't have a control case, so without her it could have been much worse.
He gets to save a human and suck every ape's dick!
He'd probably embed thermal paste up every fish's butt just to save one human.
Jake Lang will likely respond with an non elaborated "yeah."
Who would kill every Matt Walsh to save one ape, tho?
Do I need to wait until he's threatening an ape, or can we just kill him now?
Has he not already threatened them? Or does he have to name one specifically that he intends to kill before you can take action?
They are always eager for violence, but paying for universal healthcare? Food and housing? Suddenly, they spew some bullshit about personal responsibility or somerhing.
Somehow I feel like this is gonna get followed up by something like "Did you know roman Soldiers used to suck gorilla dick?".
taken further this is: "i'm the most important human of the humans to me ... thus i will kill all of you to save me" absolute psycho type shit
Is sucking lots of dick supposed to be an insult?
If they're wild animal dicks, yes
wild was not a required addition 😭
Idk I do think a domesticated animal won't make it any better
It is to these types of, lol, 'alpha males' that say these stupid things.
That idiot wouldn't do shit to save humanity, let alone a single human. Though these types sure will tell everyone just how laughingly tough and manly they are.
However, yeah, it would've been better to say something like, "Would you wear a little girls pink summer dress whilst doing a rain dance in front of every ape to save a human", but there you go.
I say we let him try. Hand-to-hand combat. Every ape vs. Matt Walsh.
Matt Walsh is a dumbass. It’s a simple concept.
Who the fuck is this bell end Matt Walsh?
A really funny guy who was one of the founding members of Upright Citizens Brigade. He went on to later co-star in the hilarious show Veep.
Oh... you mean the other one.
Who fucking cares
To the far right, an intellectual. To everybody else a moron.
Thankyou for that. So in short the man is a cock. :/
Cocks serve a useful purpose and are a source of pleasure so no.
if you killed every ape, you would disrupt the ecosystem and kill every human
But we are apes... come on!
he’s still alive? ffs
I'd suck em all to suck yours Thor!
And killing Matt Walsh would at least save a few people. But I'd do it for a Klondike bar.
What makes humans more important in these people's eyes i can never understand? Those animals also have hopes and dreams and internal lives that they deserve to pursue.
Actions that lead to more animal harm and more animal death typically involve more harm, or even death in extreme cases, to humans as well.
But as others pointed out, this person pretty clearly cares about nothing but himself anyway. So that tracks.
because humans are more important
How? Why? We are by far the most destructive animal on the planet. We would exterminate any other species that ever got close to doing as much damage.
because might makes right
that's literally their argument. we're special because we want to be because we can make it so by force
That's also the only way to defeat them, unfortunately. Bullies can't be argued with or debated or reasoned with. They must be beaten. With malice.
