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9to5 [any, comrade/them]
askchapoI would never do that to my mom, she enjoys the outside and hates screen games.
My mom’s got mad arthritis in her hands. I’ll take the three years
not that difficult to choose between 3 years and a life sentence
3 yrs
my mom is only good at read smut novels, have bad opinions about immigrants, and eat hot chip
She's got me out in a week tops. Used to tell me about how she'd play racing games on the PS1 and loved the ones where "she could beat the hell out of the other racers with a bat on a motorcycle".
If she found a way to like d-pad only steering she's probably clearing bosses in like sub-50 attempts.
Road Rash mom go on Chapo (specifically one of Felix's gamer episodes)
HOLY SHIT THAT'S THE EXACT ONE (I forgor tha name)
I wouldn't be surprised if she also loved (or would love) Twisted Metal and Vigilante 8. That was an era with a lot of neat combat focused driving games lol.
My dad only played like Vegas Stakes on SNES lol.
Does she get all the assistance and summons in the world? Because she really liked Pikmin 2 (not 1, 3 or 4) so I could conceive of it given that there is a group motivated to make this whole thing work
Would you rather go to jail until your mom beats Elden Ring WITH NO HELP or until your dad completes a Re-Reconquista as Granada in EU5 WITHOUT HELP FROM MOROCCO
I'd rather go to jail until my mom beats Eldenring than until my dad manages to install EU5.
I have some degree of faith my Dad becomes an EU5 God if he really puts his mind into it. He is a really smart man.
Now if grandma was still alive that's an easy choice, she used to play Everquest.
Does my mom know about this deal? If so, I'd say until she beats Elden Ring. If my freedom was on the line, I'm sure she would lock in. She's worked with computer stuff all her life, even if they weren't games.
Rocky Montage of your mom losing to the first boss over and over then you coming out of prison 10 years later
Idk is she doing anything else other than playing it like 8 hours a day? Does she still have to do her job? Can she look stuff up online?
If she made it a full time thing I think she might get it in like a year or so probably even less, also I'd imagine she'd be highly motivated to get me out of jail.
Your mom is allowed to look up stuff online. No cheats though.
OK but is co-op considered cheating? According to Miyazaki no, according to the most annoying gamers yes but which is the rule here?
Also does this include the DLC? The Elden Beast, maybe not that big a deal but Consort Radahn is gonna be a problem
Base game plus DLC. Coop is allowed. (im not a monster)
I think she has a pretty good chance then, I trust my mom.
After 5 minutes of trying, my mom would opt to let me rot
I have faith that my mom could beat Elden Ring in 1-2 years if my brother coaches her.
My mom really wanted to try video games because she saw my sister playing Red dead redemption 2. She bought a console and the game, but couldn't even manage to ride around on the horse without getting frustrated enough to quit.
So definitely 3 years in prison.
Try to get her into some other games because I'm gonna be real even as a Gamer i remember the pre tutorial slog in RDR2 to be a slog
I'd rather go to jail no g*mers not even my ma.
The only good answer
My mom never played a single Mario, there's no way.
I gave up on Elden Ring after 2 hours. People said to just explore the map fully and level up before trying anything major but everywhere I looked I was getting my ass kicked. I’ve never played a soulslike game before.
A recurring theme in these games is being completely overwhelmed and fighting the urge to just give up. They're definitely not for everyone. I bounced off Dark Souls 1-3 for years trying to see what the big deal was, and then it just kinda clicked. They really are amazing games (Elden Ring is probably in my top 3 of all time) but I totally understand not getting it.
If you DO ever decide to try Elden Ring again, the area people were probably telling you to head for to level up with slightly easier fights is across a large bridge to the SE of where you start. Once you have Torrent you can just ride through all the bullshit on the bridge and start having fun on a decently large island with weaker fights. There's nothing in the game to tell you this, it of course immediately points you toward a direct path to some fairly hard bosses 🤷♂️
My mom is dead so if my understanding of the series is correct she kind of already beat Elden Ring.
The only winning move.. is not to play...!
Honestly I think a totally fresh person, if they are motivated and willing to look up online guides, could nail down Elden Ring in a couple hundred hours, max. That's a few weeks if you're not doing anything else, a couple months if you have to split time between a job and living life.
So the real question is, would your mom be motivated enough to practice and research towards the goal? For me that's a yes. Then I'd get out and she'd immediately shove a controller in my hand and tell me to git gud.
My mother don't give a flying fuck about me, so I'll just take my 3 years.
Are summons allowed?
If she can use summons and coaching is available I can be free in a few days.
My mom couldn't make it past world 3 in the OG Super Mario Bros. She also forgot about it mid-conversation when I came out to her as trans. I think I'm stuck with the 3 years.
My mom is smart, driven, and more technologically involved than me. And although she hasn't played anything other than Tetris and Mario 64, I'm sure she could figure it out.
She beat SMB3 back in the days, I'm sure she would manage eventually.
When I was a kid, my mom once hijacked my Sega Genesis for a whole week to beat The Lion King game. Idk, I might take my chances with mom.
Sega genesis
The lion king
Legit harder than dark souls
Can she summon other players? If so I think the boys can carry her through the game in a week or so.
Given that I'm old (and dyspraxic) enough that I couldn't even get past the wolf on the bridge in Bloodborne despite trying for over 15 hours, and my mother is so old she can barely hold a fork, I'm gonna have to do the 3 years.
my mom has mobility issues and dementia, I'll take my 3 years thanks
As long as it's a federal clink I'll take 3 years
