There are also fractal bastards, who are uniformly lousy at any zoom level

I wonder if there's an etymological connection to cuntybaws https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cuntybaws

Technically it only describes spherical bastards in a vacuum.

Well spherical bastards rapidly deteriorate if put in a vacuum

I'd say it describes spherical bastards in the absence of an extrenal bastardness field.

I love it!

It's just a variation of the old physics joke about a Spherical cow.

Oh, yeah, haha, very funny joke. Or you could treat the topic with the gravity it deserves:

https://youtu.be/xgnuxd0tiHk

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