Disaster_of_Passion [kit/kit's, she/her]
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnnsCorvids refers to birds belonging to the family Corvidae. Typically associated with birds in the genus Corvus, which includes crows, ravens, and loyalist primarchs, these "true crows" only make up 47 of the 135 current species. Corvids have native habitats in almost every place on Earth, and cover a wide variety of birds from the aforementioned crows and ravens to magpies, jays, and nutcrackers.
I'm gonna try and update the thread with a new corvid each day of the week, there's a lot of beautiful plummage on some corvids and also a lot of just like little gremlins, so hopefully that'll be kinda fun.
I hope everybody has a lovely week!
Monday: Little Crow (Corvus bennetti) - Western and Central Australia
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Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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::: spoiler spoiler :::
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I am trying to set up a scanner.
I am running linux mint.
This is a nightmare.
Praying that I can do this from my phone.
Update: Okay that worked, took me 2 hours before I gave up and went with the mobile app route. Why do I even have a printer holy shit.
Printers/scanners are a nightmare no matter what you're operating them with.
::: spoiler healthcare woes Okay, so I'm not going to qualify for medicaid, and it sounds like it's up to my employer if it's covered and how "covered" it actually is. So like what the fuck do I even do if it's not covered or if it's only like half covered or some shit?
Anyway, I fucking hate being trans, I fucking hate dealing with this. I hate needing a whole bunch of surgery to hopefully feel okay and then maybe I can't even get it. I was really hoping it would be better after the move. But no apparently it's still super fucked. ::: spoiler suicide I literally just want to kill myself this is horrible. All I need are like 4 surgeries, and half a decade of hrt, and voice training. FUCKING KILL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW :::
If anyone has advice on how the fuck to get healthcare pet me know. Don't qualify for medicaid, state funded plans are expensive as shit and idk what or how much they even cover. And idk how much hope to have in an employer.
Assuming things haven't changed, "silver" plans can be quite "affordable" and have "low" deductibles/max year-out-of-pocket if you are in certain income ranges (which depends on your state; some you don't qualify for the savings if you make too little, for example). You can browse plans here: https://www.healthcare.gov/see-plans/#/
But you need to have a qualifying life events to apply out-of-season, but that includes any sort of moving.
I did the calculator for my state and it said 200-300 a month for silver plans. But I don't know if they cover or what the out of pockets were. That's still kinda a lot of fucking money but I really hope they do actually cover it properly.
I won't apply until I get my new job and go from there
Fuck this shitty ass rock and (nearly) everyone on it. I FUCKING hate people. Genuinely go to hell. It's their fucking fault. I cannot describe how much I loathe humanity.
Hopefully I live to see the last generation of these shitty ass creatures.
Look. Playing with my boobs is fun but I want someone else to play with em
Me too, me too.
Starting off the day right with my dad making fun of my hair
::: spoiler SA, trauma Is it ✨️problematic✨️ to wish wed gottenremovedd or had something similarly obviously rly bad happen to us so we could better justify to ourself why were such a traumatized mess :::
::: spoiler spoiler My hot take of the day is that being trans is inherently traumatizing and should be recognized as such :::
::: spoiler re: I don't think trauma is inherent to being trans. There are just many societal and personal reasons why it could be. Personally, I wouldn't say transitioning has been traumatic for me. Society and the healthcare industry have done their worst, but I'm at peace with my transition.
It won't be the same for everyone, of course. :::
::: spoiler spoiler
it's not "inherent" as in, if we lived in a just world then they wouldn't go hand in hand. but in this world they do, at least for the vast vast majority of trans folks. im pretty at peace about the physical effects of male puberty etc on me personally, but social aspects of the gendered upbringing have left me damaged. i think this is a very common experience. that's not even getting into the general prevalence of transphobia and how it impacts trans youth especially. social norms often cause trauma. repressing is traumatic. for many the act of transition is where the healing begins so you are kind of missing the forest for the trees a bit. the damage often comes before. :::
If we lived in a just world where I got on hrt at 11
:cuddle:
genuinely the only way to avoid this trauma
::: spoiler spoiler I agree with you in regard to being trans isn't necessarily traumatic, but being trans in a transphobic society is absolutely traumatic :::
::: spoiler dysphoria I do not understand how living in the wrong body for years and years isn't traumatic.
Society and healthcare are both excellent examples as well. How is there not trauma from being in a society that hates you. Surrounded by people who think you should suffer. Who deny your suffering. I literally can't imagine how that isn't traumatic. :::
Thats only a hot take among cisppl tbh
::: spoiler SA There was a bit of a discourse a bit ago when a trans girl directly compared testosterone puberty toremoved, and like we get why ppl didnt like that comparison but also tbh we get what she meant :::
I feel like some people here probably disagree with me tbh
::: spoiler spoiler Oh they do that all the time. I've seen a few victims of both say puberty was worse. I low key agree but don't say it because I'm not aremoved victim. Although I have been SAd and harassed and puberty was definitely much worse then that. I get what they mean too. :::
::: spoiler spoiler Pretty much in the same boat. Certainly would take not being forced to go through the wrong puberty even if it meant dealing with more SA/harassment. And even more if it meant not having been born with the genitalia I was. :::
::: spoiler spoiler
Puberty lasts for many years and you don't get the luxury of dissociating as easily and it consumes your entire life growing up.
:::
::: spoiler spoiler And consumes your life afterward, every second, every interaction. All the work and money you have to spend fixing it. Dysphoria is hell. :::
Yeah true, it can be a hot take w trans ppl too, tho much less so
And yeah same, weve seen victims of both say that too
::: spoiler spoiler I remember reading in high school this piece of writing by an ostensibly cis women about as a teenager wishing she had had a dark trauma in her past to explain neatly why she felt her normal life was so awful.
And I found it so deeply resonating. Because that was me, all the time. And in hindsight it was yeah because I was trans. And neurodivergent. And my dad was abusive.
And then I did get groomed and assaulted and didn't quite even realise because I thought I was a boy and my abuser was a woman. But like I had all those traumatised feeling before that happened. :::
Any chance u remember what the piece was? Feel like we might resonate w it too
::: spoiler Tap for spoiler I think the conditions that have traumatized you and have resulted in you wishing for that are far more problematic. I think it's natural people look for excuses to blame their problems on. For some people, for example, it's blaming vaccines.
Granted, I just think such fantasies are hot and have since middle school. I don't actually want to fulfill them, but perhaps they're problematic in a similar way if your thoughts are. :::
What is the point of filtering that word, genuinely
iirc some people have expressed that seeing it can be triggering
Discussions of the topic certainly can, but can the word itself be triggering in a way where just substituting another word wont be?
Also, anecdotally we know survivors who find it v upsetting when the language they use to discuss their experience/trauma is censored/policed
apologies, i don't have an answer for you bc i'm not someone who finds content warnings and the like necessary or useful. i was explaining, not offering a personal opinion.
i understand where you're coming from but i have no dog in this fight. since i'm not sensitive or even really traumatized about my own experiences i have never felt it appropriate to try and influence the standards one way or another, either here or elsewhere
crow i saw today
also proof i’ve touched grass
post feet (on grass) or i don't believe you
Ignorance is not bliss. If I was ignorant I would still be stuck in a body I hate.
Only by struggling and understanding could I break out of that wretched condition.
kind of weird to think that in about a week and a half I won't have to boymode anymore. and then in a week and a half after that I'll be actively girlmoding at a job where no one will know me as having been anything other than a girl.
It's so nice just being a girl publicly. Even you know with all the awful stuff. I could never go back.
Yeah I don't think I'll be able to either. I know I'll be pretty clocky initially but it can only really get better right?
::: spoiler spoiler Well, today was the worst in a while, cried a lot, felt super dysphoric, shitty. Felt shitty about some social stuff too but I won't get into it much. Maybe some of it is my brain lying to me. I feel alone and helpless. ::: spoiler self harm urges, suicide, dysphoria The sh urges came back really badly today. I feel hopeless and I am so done with this. I don't want this life. I dont want to be trans. To have to deal with all the dysphoria things. The waiting and the fixing and the coping with what can't be.
If I could get spirited away right now I would. I don't want to deal with dysphoria anymore. With work. With needing several major surgeries. With voice training. With any of this. Tonight, I wish I could go.
Today was a total bust. I don't want any more days if they're going to be like this. :::
::: spoiler spoiler
Dysphoria is such a miserable thing. On days like this you should treat yourself to override your brain for a while. It's better than being consumed by the death desire. Sugar and caffeine work great. Alcohol too, but not more than a glass/can. It's just cope, but only by coping you can pull yourself to the light at the end of the tunnel where all this will behind you.
:::
::: spoiler spoiler Having some caffeine and possibly tacos today. Don't have a ton of treat food in the house sadly. :::
::: spoiler spoiler i get it, girlie. why god gives her toughest battles for her dumbest fucking bitches i will never know.
but tomorrow could be better and no feeling is final :::
::: spoiler spoiler :cuddle: thank you. I really hope today is better. I appreciate you. :::
::: spoiler suicide and dysphoria If I can't figure out how to get surgery I will genuinely blow my shit off. :::
elon's daughter is like the funny shitposter he wishes he could be. she's an endearing nerd instead of a gross one. her politics are cool and good for someone that young
somebody tell me what this means
being trans makes you cool?
Women are better then men?
i want to agree with this but don't want to get myself in trouble
If a bit of misandry gets u in trouble ur not in the right crowds
I've hated a lot more people without getting in trouble
Extreme lesbian yearning for the girl I met at the rave last week and just spent double pride with (also does anyone have the original comic this emoji is from?)
Soft tender breasts with no one to hold them
::: spoiler transfemme specific advice
My ex showed me a wonderful thing: when youre anxious or down or just need some emotional support, hold ur titties. Its reassuring and they're lovely little stressballs.
::: spoiler dysphoria, terf island A "fun" effect of getting more laser is that I can't use tweezers or a facial epilator for the next year so I have bits of beard shadow again. I'm already visibly trans the timing (which I chose tbf) is extremely not good. :::
i hate this shit so much i want to tweeze so bad
solidarity. we will get through this.
it’ll all be worth it in the end, we got this
I'm seeing a girl, T4T, it's early but it's so nice.
I can't see her again until tomorrow. She's so cute.
I wish I could post my cool makeup looks and fits on here. I've been having a ton of fun with bold and unorthodox makeup.
I love being trans and non binary and just looking however I want.
The things I would do to look however I want
You could post a drawing of your makeup and fits
That's not a bad idea, I'll see if I get around to it
Hell yeah. I wanna see what my fellow hexbear transfems are doing with their looks.
::: spoiler spoiler
I remember when my dad told me before I left that I should always carefully consider my choices because there are some decisions you can't overturn.
It's obvious that he kinda suspects that I am lying about detransing/not transitioning.
Maybe he isn't even as bigoted about it all as my mother. Wouldn't be too surprised. Someone of his profession should know better. But as long as he doesn't even stand up for his beliefs, what do those beliefs count as? Forget taking a bullet for his beliefs. He won't even accept his daughter.
As for the "advice" itself? It's such a nothing burger platitude that it's insulting. Yeah no shit do you think I don't know about the concept of consequences? Why do you think I haven't thought enough? Have you thought enough? Have you weighed the price of your inaction? Assuming you aren't a bigoted piece of shit (major benefit of the doubt here).
It's funny. He's already paid the price. He just doesn't know it yet. don't want to be his son or daughter or anything.
:::
@Wake@hexbear.net I didn't get a chance to respond in the last mega, the build sounds awesome! 50 miles of range would be sweet for something so powerful/fast. Especially with only 2.8kWh.
I'm considering adding electric assist to my current bike, but it'll be very basic in comparison. Probably just a 250-500w hub motor to help me with big and steep hills. I'm prioritizing low weight/drag so I can still use it as a normal bike. Plus I'm already above the weight limit for the frame so I don't wanna add much more.
Thanks! Im really happy with how the build has come along. I’ve been planning accumulating parts for it for almost a year. And it’s finally all together and working.
I really want to build a bicycle next. The problem is that the temptation to make something over powered is too great. I’ve had friends tell me that having an ebike actually helped them lose weight because it made it easier to go for a ride. Which encouraged them to ride more.
Have to go help my stupid dad with something later because I'm his stupid son so I have to put on my stupid mask that I'm doing okay. God I hate him and I hate pretending and I hate feeling dysphoric.
Okay update, he doesn't need me to go with him, but I am still miserably dysphoric. I guess that's as good of a win as I can hope for.
I have seen crows before at various points in my life ( ≧∀≦)ノ
Always a W animal
Con a rich man out of his fortune and fund the revolution
So I know the dating apps are bad
But are any of them less bad, especially for our ilk
it really depends on your location but also they have gotten uniformly much worse in the last decade. i have one big tinder success story but a lot of people on there are looking for very casual stuff. i've had many more cases where people just drift away after a bit.
i have no idea, literally every date i had since cracking started over discord
weirdly enough, only one of them was really long distance
Queer discord servers are kind of peak for meeting trans people to hang out with. Even if it just ends up as friends, you never know who your friends might introduce you to in the future.
::: spoiler spoiler I'm already so tired of feeling shit again.
I hate having to transition and I hate most people. Maybe I should dysphoria post again. god this whole thing is so exhausting. :::
::: spoiler clickety click for spoiler Yeah, same. Getting "sir'd" like 4 times doesn't help. What do I have to do? Show my boobs around all the time? :::
Sometimes even that doesn't work. I just spent 2 hours in a small room with 3 guys wearing my tshirt which doesn't hide my big ass breasts at all. None of them suspect a thing.
::: spoiler spoiler literally, like how long and how much effort is this going to take. :::
::: spoiler dysphoria I hate having to go through this. I hate having to voice train. I hate my apple. I hate having to learn how to do everything. I hate how long I have to wait for hrt to do its thing. How long having my tits fully in will take. How long laser will take. How long fat redistribution will take. I hate everything around surgery. I hate every bit of evidence of T. Just please be over soon. I need the next 5 years to fly by and me to get lucky enough to have like 4 surgeries. Please god. I need this to just be done already.
I hate cis people. I hate them for not taking this seriously, when its us. If I was a cis woman they would take it seriously. They would empathize and understand. I hate people for not listening to evidence and reason. I hate their willful ignorance. Their ego thinking their bigoted beliefs they picked up through cultural osmosis is equal to actual evidence. I hate the way these apes decide their beliefs. :::
Okay so I wrote out my thoughts and feelings but when is the feeling of relief supposed to happen??
Sometimes I will genuinely see like, a pendulum or a scientific instrument and want to fuck it and lick it. Doesn't even have to be phallus shaped. Or any human body part shaped. It could be a ducking rectangle shape and I still want to [redacted]
Fried rice so good you know I had to fuck it
the pathologizing dumb clinical word for that is objectophilia, the cool kids call it being ferrosexual
Objectophilia is such a lazy ass word
::: spoiler Objectophilia but youre just really into courtroom play
I'm innocent I swear
if youre so innocent then why are you sweating so profusely?
thats spurious and you know it!
oh god say that again~
absolutely
down with cis
DOWN WITH CIS
DOWN WITH CIS
DOWN WITH CIS
DOWN WITH CIS
I love being trans
me too
hell yes
Samesies
Hell yeah me tooo
It's wonderful
The complete best
somehow reminds me of when i read the Dungeon Meshi world guide and at some point in the elf chapter it just says out of nowhere "some of the more remote communities still practice cannibalism"
Up with trans!
UP WITH TRANS!
UP WITH TRANS!
UP WITH TRANS
{UP|~UP~UP^UP^} {WITH|~WITH~WITH^WITH^} {TRANS|~TRANS~TRANS^TRANS^}
The chosen markdown understander walks among us
