Kinda got yourself to blame
(midwest.social)
Stamets
TumblrSomeone was stealing my food at work so one day I loaded the sandwich up with dried ghost pepper flakes. Like an irresponsible amount of ghost pepper flakes. Found out that day who was stealing my lunch and the guy had the nerve to accuse me of poisoning him. Went to management and everything. Manager did the "both sides are wrong and need to apologise" strategy. "Guy, don't steal food, you, don't hurt people with your food. Now guy, apologise for stealing food and you apologise for the ghost peppers". I did not apologise.
btw I've seen the original Reddit thread this is referencing, and what this tumblr user means by "general consensus" is "one guy said this without evidence, and everyone else said op was fucked and cited specific similar cases to back up their claims." the only way to defend that this isn't intentional poisoning is to argue that you did actually intend to eat the thing yourself
The solution is to not literally poison someone. Put enough to ruin their day, and they'll stop. If they sue, you can reasonably say that you were going to eat it, since it isn't a dangerous dosage.
That's still poisoning. It doesn't have to be a dangerous dose to constitute poison, it just has to be harmful in any way
Not if you intended to take it.
This is a funny joke. But - more seriously - you don't need 12 jurors to rule in your favor in a civil trial. And sticking poisoned food in a public fridge with the full knowledge that someone is going to eat it is absolutely going to incur liability, whether you think the person stealing your food was an asshole or not.
I think the more important question is, are laxatives "poison"? I don't think they are as long as it was within OTC or even edge-case prescription doses (which admittedly sounds dubious for this totally real, true story), even if someone decided they needed to go to a hospital.
https://www.cbsnews.com/sacramento/news/student-teacher-laxative-coffee/
https://www.oftlaw.com/blog/who-is-liable-for-food-poisoning-caused-by-tampering/
Yes this is criminal. Poisoning or criminal tampering, depending on who's getting charged where for what and by who
Yes, sure, when you are administering even OTC substances directly to people who don't consent, that's clearly criminal.
But the student putting a legal amount of laxative in the teacher's coffee is distinguishable from adding it to something you own which you suspect, but do not know, may end up stolen and consumed.
We're really arguing the core legal issues of actus reus (adding a legal amount to your own food, and the consumption of the food itself) and mens rea (whether you intend to consume it or not, whether you intend for the other person to consume it, or whether you are neutral). But I think there are very plausible defenses here for both elements, even if I can see how either verdict/judgment is possible. That's why it's an interesting fact pattern.
