What robs us of joy is caring about other people’s expectations for us. We are free when we stop worrying about what people think.

username checks out

that's your fault. you should have made her a better mother when your were 3 years old instead of being selfish and depending on her, check your male privilege.

the problem comes from them expecting their partner to be their mommy and also fuck them

Well they don't. They need therapy. Don't put that on women.

i've had women come over to my place and do this. and then tell me it made them uncomfortable because men are not supposed to be able to cook, clean, let alone decorate.

no it's legit. i'm male and i've had women do this to me when they come over to my place. more than once.

a lot of people have awful expectations/low opinions of the other sex and get super angry at you if you don't live up to their low expectations of them

you think the home thing is bad? try being a dude who is emotionally open and honest. every lady says she wants that, but the vast majority of them are totally repulsed by it. i even had a couple of girlfriends who were so convinced men are all therapy needing emotionally student idiots, that when i was try to communicate they would just ignore everything i said and then tell me how i really felt. because my words didn't register as legitimate to them, they were women, and they knew the truth about how all men can't really properly express their feelings and clearly what I was doing was fake/false/wrong or something. it was utterly insane.

people are really really really wedded to their beliefs about gender roles and gender behaviors, to the point of total delusion that when someone doesn't live up to their sexist expectations, they just reject the evidence in front of their face and make up a fake story to maintain the preexisting belief.

tl;dr: all men are emotional student idiots. if there is a man who isn't, he's not really a man, he's secretly gay. because gay men aren't men either, or something? i dunno.

I purposefully keep my spaces open because I like the feeling. I like not having every inch of my house not need something in it.

I like to think of it like goldfish. A goldfish will grow to be the size of the tank you put it in, and that's good for a goldfish, but I don't want to be a goldfish - I don't need to jam stuff into every corner of the house just because a corner happens to be kind of empty.

Someone who jumped to this conclusion was probably looking for a conclusion to their preconceived theory.

That or they are making a joke to dunk on people who do that

Rugs on the wall, art on the floor?

Wall rugs are art

I'm Kurt Wenner, best I can do is paintings on the floor

if he was poor then he's an asshole for having been poor.

people don't have empathy for people who are poor. just malice.

I live an upper middle class lifestyle in my 40s. i haven't been poor for 20+ years, and yet for some people, it's considered something you can never live down, it's an original sin from which you can't ever be washed clean. you would be amazed at how openly hostile and violent people are towards those who are not as economically fortune as they are. rich and privileged people do not regard the poor and middle-class as human beings.

Or maybe he was just being nice? I can't imagine being invited to friend's new house and not giving compliments unless im like worried about them moving into an unsafe situation.

Growing up my house was always trashed. Parents with depression and full time jobs don't leave much time and energy for cleaning up, and there's only so much children without guidance can do.

So once I had my own defined space, it was basically minimalist to expedite cleaning. I didn't start getting more stuff, even clothes, until my partner moved in.

it's subject. one persons essentials are anothers luxuries, etc.

it's also just weird. i have had women be impressed i had nice curtains, but then also angry i don't have a $5000 couch. or like, impressed how clean and organized my kitchen is, but then angry my closet isn't organized as well.

and my closet isn't organized because i'm not in there hours a week, i'm in there like 30 seconds a day.

what if you don't like art and you don't like rugs?

It's having the same stuff as everyone else, never being inspired by what others have in their home and never being impressed or letting it show.

I have both of this, multiple times even, but I wouldn't be so sure about the "not lame and pathetic" part tbh

Can't confirm. I do have rugs and art.

I keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.

That's because it's troll bait. Just like all generations have a bigger than wanted set of shitty people. I don't feel like I can take this shit down because it's not breaking any rules. You all can help by not falling for the bait though.

you are being logical and thoughtful and acknowledging a complex reality.

the people who push this shit live in a black and white world where all men are scum and should aspire to not be men. these are also the same people who will complain there are no 'manly men' left.

they are gender supremacists living in a delusional reality of their own making. they simple hate men for existing, just men who hate women hate them for existing. except for when they are sexual fantasy objects.

I upvoted because the two panel underneath is mocking the ragebait post.

keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.

Because there are groups specifically circulating ragebait to radicalize young and impressionable men into right winged radicalism. People see this all over the internet, but what do you see in real life? In my experience I have seen plenty of examples of casual misogyny in real life, I've never really seen any form of "misandry" in person.

I will say i have zero appreciation for "nice" things and the house looking cozy or whatever. If it were up to me I would live in a bare apartment with everything painted white and minimal furniture. And there's nothing wrong with that and i have no reason to change.

Of all the things that are wrong with me and perhaps other men, this is just not one of them, it's just a style preference, there's zero morality involved. Whoever doesn't like it can just not fuck with me, just like i dont fuck with decorations.

People are talking to people in real life less and less these day. The people they do talk to tend to be of the same gender, this was a thing before the Internet but the Internet has made it worse. Combine that with algorithms where the first thing they learn about you is your gender and will feed you content accordingly, peoples view of the opposite gender becomes more and more distorted. So the terminally online people, that also make a lot of the content on the Internet, tend to become misogynist or misandrist.

Femcels are a thing. :\

It's really prevalent, but it's unfortunately hard to call out, especially irl.

I first read that as "horse stuff" and was wondering if horses were suddenly in now

The thing no one wants to admit or say is that while the modern (MeToo and onward) feminist movement certainly has good intentions, its been broadly co opted into a kind of pop-feminism that's about as actually feminist as tik tok psychology advice is real psychology.

Its morphed into basically just a semi-formalized worldview of mystic misandry.

'Manifesting', the Patriarchy as essentially an evil spiritual or god-like entity or force, which everything else is oriented around and against... while simultaneously claiming that adherents need to 'de-center men' ... near total abandonment of any attempt to empathize with the 'other', active glee in demonizing them... whole bunch of 'creators' just vying to be the most bombastic mini cult leader...

Its even got a discernible dialect.

They believe dogmas. When you try to inquire as to the basis or validity of those dogmas... they attack.

You get a bunch of faux psychoanalysis of how you could possibly have ended up so broken as to question their... you know, idea that they can't or won't actually defend.

Its like a religious fundamentalist launching into a semi-canned apologia response.

God, this shit pisses me off so fucking much because it's this bullshit-ass pop-philosophy that liberals have settled into that pushes away young men and perpetuates the patriarchal bullshit in the world.

To start with..... Have you ever even met anyone in real life that spoke this way? I feel like people on lemmy are so quick to see a post from an unknown random on the internet and speak about it as if it's an epidemic.

The problem is the fucking system, not who is doing the punching. Libs get so wrapped up in anything but the system that they make the problem worse. Like the popularization of the term "mansplaining". Oh neat, so now the problem women face about being seen as competent is about men.

I think the critique is aimed at a functional aspect of the system. You seem to acknowledge the patriarchy, which is a critique of a hierarchical system that is largely controlled by and benefits men. I don't see how agitating against mansplaining is anything but critical towards people talking over or diminishing the voices of women.

Because, of course, feminism didn't come about to improve the treatment of women, but to point out who the bad people are. The would you rather for women about running across a bear or a random man is about how man worse than bear, not that women feel so egregiously unsafe in their daily lives.

How do you change a system without being critical about aspects of the system that require change?

The man vs bear is definitely an allegory about how women feel unsafe due to the discrepancy of power between the sexes, in both physical and societal power.

Libs see women get mistreated for no reason then go "men should suffer, too", then pat themselves on the back because now everyone hates everyone, no matter the gender[bullshit-ass heart emojis].

I think the point is to highlight the discrepancy between the experiences of men and women. For example the man vs bear scenario isn't claiming that men too should be more afraid to run across a random woman than a bear. It's a way to highlight their perspective, the point is we should live in a society where women do not have to feel like they could become prey to unjust violence from a random man.

They have to play men and women against each other. Or else they would have to explain how systemic patriarchy manages to self-replicate despite worsening the lives of nearly all of the people (of all genders) who suffer under it. And the answer to that is: capitalism. Which is not an acceptable answer for the donor class.

You and I seem to have the same opinion about this.

Feminism has basically been co opted into a kind of psuedo liberal, privileged, socially acceptable because it calls itself feminism, form of misandry.

Like this OP image person would be the same person who would likely call a straight dude gay, as an insult, because he declined a second date with her.

Its wild because... like... these people are ostensibly 'liberal', they'll tell you they are, but they're actually not.

They believe in the concept of equal rights and opportunity, universally, for all... to the same the same extent that conservatives believe in Democracy or States Rights.

They don't actually believe in them.

They believe in them as rheotically useful dialects to speak about things from... but they don't actually believe in the actual principles.

Like we've gotten to the point in politics and society where everyone is so thoroughly full of shit, that we have an illiberal center, roughly, that then just pantomimes different flavors of rhetorical style... and then on the extreme ends you have people that actually believe in any principles beyond 'Im awesome and my team rocks'.

We are so fucking cooked lol, the owners have divided and conquered our minds extremely thoroughly.

nobody should be punching anybody

I cannot think of a joke - except for puns - that do not have a victim.

A newly wed couple is going on a 14-day cruise for their honeymoon. The husband pulls over on the way to the Port. "Why are you stopping?" asks the wife, "Oh I'm just picking up some condoms from this pharmacy - although we just got married we said we'd wait a year before starting a family?" "OK, but pick me up some dramamine too so I don't get seasick." So the husband goes to the pharmacist and asks for a 14 condoms and 14 dramamine tablets. The pharmacist says "If it makes you feel so sick, why do you keep doing it?"

Men in general / the husband is the victim of the punch line here. Or maybe pharmacists?

Much like dramatic narrative, from Shakespeare to Ted Lasso, all rising tension is resolved by a winner and loser.

I've been over to places and complimented people on them, and they become hostile to you.

because in their warped mind, your compliment is an veiled attack on them. and they think you liking their rug is you telling them it isn't good enough or something.

this is typical of massively insecure people.

But then we wouldn't have rage bait for engagement.

What you percieve as reality is real, to you.

Its... this is the basic functional mechanism of propoganda, advertising, marketing, etc.

It does effect people.

No one is immune to propaganda.

That's like, the entire problem.

You might as well just say 'the internet doesn't exist, you've never seen a movie or a tv/netflix show, you've never seen an advertisement.'

That's about as absurd as what you are saying.

Also how do you know this isn't genuine?

How did you determine that?

Is... everything you don't like, a psyop?

Well, the problem isn't that this is being manufactured, but rather exacerbating already existing problems. The Russian IRA didn't start racism in the US around 2013-2016. 4chan didn't found fascism in the west. North Korea didn't originate the very first crypto scams. You're absolutely right that the problems are blown way out of proportion and there are so many trolls out there, it's hard to tell if any one asshole is paid to be an asshole online or not. However, it's best to not over-correct and deny these problems exist at all, even with hyperbole.

hence why it is getting upvoted so heavily, and commented on, and the comments getting tons of upvotes.

it's almost like... this is what we like. we love the insufferable.

because of economic insecurity and the perception that having children is a huge economic liability rather than something joyful.

The 30-something year old bachelor who has nothing in his apartment besides a tv, a PlayStation, a fridge full of beer and a mattress on the floor probably has a smaller carbon footprint than any of us

The only person who said feminism sucks in this thread is you.

Can you elaborate on "ignoring reality"?

I want to believe they're bots

What the fuck does this have to do with "The Left"?

Some men will see one ragebait social media post and base their entire political worldview around it, then blame "the left" for anything that goes wrong in their lives.