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(midwest.social)
The Picard Maneuver
History MemesExplanation for those wondering: Commodus was the son of the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius is generally regarded as a good Emperor, a man of great restraint and mildness, and the author of some fantastic musings on the Greek philosophical school of Stoicism - his Meditations. Highly recommend (if you find one version too stuffy or archaic or conversely, not archaic enough for your A E S T H E T I C, looking for a different translation can make all the difference).
Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill... I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together.
His son, Commodus, was the first son to be actually born to a reigning Emperor since the very start of the Empire some ~200 years before. Commodus would become Emperor after his father's death - itself only the second time in the Empire's history that a biological son had succeeded his father*. The first few years went alright, but before long, ultimate autocratic power apparently got to his head, and he went off the deep end. He chose to dress up as the Graeco-Roman demigod Hercules (whom he claimed to be a reincarnation of), fight rigged matches in the Colosseum, murder anyone who looked at him funny, and tried to rename the Empire and its citizens after himself. He ruled for 12 years.
He would be assassinated in his bathtub by his own personal trainer after everyone in the fucking Empire, Senate included, got tired of his nonsense, and one Roman politician by the name of Pertinax, the son of a freed slave, would be elected by the Senate as Emperor the morning afterwards.
*The Emperor Titus had succeeded his father, Vespasian, but Titus was born some ~30 years before Vespasian became Emperor, and was not raised with even the vaguest expectation that he or his old man would someday become Emperor. So he didn't have the whole 'spoiled royal' thing going on
Wait. How I didn't hear about Pertinax? He sounds like an alright emperor.. The praetorian guard got involved? To shreds you say? And his successor.. To shreds you say?
What a disappointment.
I was curious if commodes were somehow named after him and looked it up, but no. It's just a funny coincidence.
Brother, you have surrounded your given name with a foul stench! From this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Johns!
Funny enough, the Emperor Vespasian, who was generally a good Emperor, to this day has urinals named after him in Italian ('vespasiano') because he taxed urine during his reign, lmao.
Lol, what a legacy.
"like a cunt" and the unexpected sad lion Pepe both got me, lmao
