Stay in your lane
(midwest.social)
The Picard Maneuver
MemesOutside has glyphosate
Inside is bright, and bright looks a lot like up
Yep, imagine if you had an internal magnetic compass for the world and then some idiot with ultra magnets flipped a switch to turn them on when you tried to head home each night.
Because inside is where the good lamps are.
They want what we have. Heat, light, low humidity, and crippling existential dread.
Shelter from the cold, shelter from the heat, shelter from the rain, seeing light where there shouldn’t be any…
Your house is a glowing cave of wonder and they want to investigate.
Hell yeah. And depending on the bug, I might want him there. House centipede? Join me for a hangout. Spider? You do your thing, catch some bugs I DON’T want in my house if there are any plz. Spider in the shower? I’m getting the cup, lil dude—can’t have you above me when I’m nekkid. Ants? Fuck off and die. Dragonfly? How are you even in here?! You need to go live your life being beautiful but if you wanna see me set up server stuff for a few hours. Woms? …is worms bugs?
Quick edit: cockroaches would get the gas or whatever would get rid of them if they existed here, but I’m glad they don’t. Also I wish for an immediate permanent genocide to bedbugs but I’ve never had them in real life. I hope I never am in a room with a bedbug.
I moved to a place with bedbugs (I was unaware at the time and furious when the landlord was nonchalant about "oh, yeah, they're a problem")
I am glad you've never had to go through the trauma of bed bugs. They were a bug I broke my "put outside and don't torture" rule for. I had enough I was able to capture multiple and throw them in jars with different things to see if anything affected them. Rubbing alcohol was insanely good at killing them
Your inside once belonged to their outside, and they remember.
My insides??? Is that why the average sleeping person swallows 18kg of spiders every month???
They get lost sometimes. They're just silly little guys!
A lost wasp made its way into my garage yesterday, and I couldn't find the fly swatter, so I got creative with a leaf blower and sent him flying back outside.
I have one of those cordless vacuums. If it's too big to get swatted, you gonna get the succ'd up, fool.
I tried doing that to a moth and accidentally threw it against the wall. Not sure if i killed it but I didnt see it afterwards :(
That alone does not explain how a total of 3 hornets have made it inside my running computer (through the missing IO shield) over the course of two years.
Its buzzing may sound like a bee nest, so they may have been hunting for honey.
One could ask the same of you, could they not?
Bzzzz WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING OUT OF YOUR SYNTHETIC DWELLINGS?? GET BACK IN THERE. YOU BUILT IT, YOU STAY IN THERE!! Bzzzz
The wasps like to build their home in the shade, e.g. your home.
Later in the season they get aggressive over the smell of meats, ferments, and high calorie foods because they are all starving because wasp larvae are born in the spring and summer and process all of the adult wasp's food for them but in the fall there are no more larvae so there is no food.
Also they can't evolve a behavior to avoid humans because wasp killer is highly effective.
Well actually, wasp killer selects against the instinct to go anywhere near humans
Bugs really do be making it hard to care about the bugpocalypse
I have a deer who visits my garden and only eats the flowers - not the plant of the flowers, mind you, just the fucking petals, in particular the poppies-, and the heads of my tomatoes.. there's grass the entire fucking place. Like, whhhhyyyyyy???
If I only had grass to eat, which was everywhere, or the option to eat some tomatoes and flowers, I know which one I'd pick!
Fair enough.. but I'd also help the gardener-feeder out and cut a little bit of the tall grass, dandelions, weeds, Luzern, buttercups... Instead, he seems like a run of the mill poppy addict with a tomatoes munchie habit. NIMBY!
I guess this is why people shoot & murder those beautiful soft gentle deer 😥
They wants some treats, and the treats aren't in the outside
