101
chattre
Transfemwaking up to someone that's supposed to be your parent sobbing on the floor in front of you, begging you to "change yourself", saying she wanted a "normal family" and that I disgust her is in fact, not a great way to start the day. eating expired jam off of toasted hamburger rolls that were on sale probably fares a little better.
I'll be honest, I already knew spawnpoint's true feelings about me even though she never said them out loud before. actually vocalizing them was my last straw. how the view of someone could change from strong to pathetic and selfish in just a couple months... isn't anything I can put to words.
I shut my mouth. I went to school. but I wasn't going back to a house where I'm viewed as "disgusting". I wasn't going to go back to a house where I couldn't focus on anything because of a looming presence. I wasn't going back to a house where someone would try in every way to get me to fit her mold that she so desperately wants. a house where I could not trust anyone.
I took a friend's offer to crash. I was pretty much already packed for a scenario like this, so I didn't need much notice. my situation is well understood by their parents, and I'm trying for a different arrangement asap.
but here I am. a place where I can just... be. no more pretending. no more hiding my meds in fear of them getting taken. no anxiety over the next emotional burst. I studied more tonight than I ever did last week for a class final tomorrow. I'm just functioning how anyone else would need to in the day-to-day, but I'm crying now because in that house it was just impossible.
I don't know what I'm going to do next. all I know is that today, for all my work, I get another small break. a glimpse of what it's like to live. to be human. and I regret nothing, not even the 15 missed calls, white cheddar pasta, and getting ready to sleep on the floor.
cheers everyone ❤️ I should probably get some sleep now...
Once words leave one's mouth they cannot be taken back. She crossed a limit, and more importantly your limit. It's very healthy that you recognize this and that you act on it.
I haven't had this courage regarding a close one for way too long and now me and my kid are pretty fucked up. So kudos for affirming yourself. If it's not done already you may consider blocking notifications on her calls and her texting so you are in control of this channel.
I don't know what's up with your spawnpoint but the frequent emotional outbursts which induce anxiety into her relatives are a clue already so I'm going to give you this advice: be very wary of any sudden drastic change of discourse. Don't let that surprise you. Honeyed words do not cancel the damage done. Lowering your guard would be an opening for her to try and undermine you at your essence. If at one point you ever have to engage with her, stay factual and be a rock. Do NOT engage emotionally.
Thank you for sharing! And thank you for caring - about your wellbeing! 🩵 Life is not black and white and the bigoted norms that we have grown up with can hit us again at a later time, when we least expect them, but stay strong! You deserve to loved! Period! 🩵
You mentioned in a previous post that your Gran is more accepting. Would it be possible for her to put you up for a while?
As for your mother, obviously im not there and dont know the subtleties of the situation, but a lot of parents have a hard time coming to terms with transition because they see it as their child being replaced by a different person. Of course sometimes it is just bigotry, but some parents just need a bit of time to understand that you're not becoming a different person, just a happier one. As I've said, I don't know the ins and outs of your specific situation.
Either way it's good you have somewhere to go for now. Stay safe and happy.
Here's hoping your terrible day may be the start to a wonderful new chapter in life
I'm so glad you have such support readily available to you! I hope your gene donors aren't the control freak types that will make your escape from them overly difficult. Here's wishing you luck on your final, as well as making your own path through this life with minimal needless challenges.
🫂
I'mm happy you have those people to take you in. 🫂 I hope this is the worst it gets for you
Oh... Wow, that's violent.
Wishing you the best.
You're just a kid and you are not supposed to deal with this, but it looks like your mother is on her way of accepting you as you. Be patient, but also please stay strong and don't let her dictate who you are.
Uhh it doesn’t sound like her mother is on her way to accepting at all.
Well, the shift from "you're abomination" -> "I'm disgusted by you" -> "I just wanted a normal family" is promising
Maybe, but I wouldn't rush to conclusions. Chattre mentioned her spawnpoint's disapproval before and voiced scepticisms of her developing an understanding. But as it was (partially) kept secret from her, to some extend, she is still figuring it out and might just need some time to digest it.
Though darling probably knows her spawnpoint well enough to not be unreasonably scepticical, it's not unthinkable that acceptance might follow, either.
