deforestgump [he/him, comrade/them]
Slop.~~CNN is reporting that Secret Service identified a shooter and they are now dead. [No source yet. Just watching live]~~ CNN is now reporting that the shooter is in custody
Wolf Blitzer of CNN witnessed the shooting
someone tried to get through the mags with a gun
WH Press Secretary says their will be shots fired before Correspondents dinner
Kash Patel's girlfriend was in the bathroom holding hands with another man
It is utterly humiliating tbat the world is run by a tyrant who is simultaneously totally unaware of what is going on and the luckiest man on earth.
Fucking Mr Magoosulini
luckiest man on earth.
Are we going to imply that Teflon Don gets by on pure skill?
Let me guess, the bullets will be engraved with anti-maga rhetoric, they'll find a manifesto that is written like 19th century poetry, and they'll be some form of LGBTQ which conveniently will be all over their "social media" pages.
I aint buying the idea that this was a false flag, trump can't plan shit without it leaking through a prediction market or something. Someone would have bet on a failed assassination.
Maybe that's why they're coming down so hard on that Maduro polymarket guy.
I think some of the reactions are interesting like Dana White who said he was thrilled. They're treating it like dinner theater. This is like a new level of access between the press (and Trump's people) and the President. Come be part of the show. It's an experience. It's starting to feel like that's the more important part. If something did happen to Trump, they would still be drinking and laughing with brain matter all over their tables. Bring out the tarp for the front row like a Gallagher show. Watch the President get his melon smashed. Be part of history. The party must go on.
But other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
don't act like we all wouldn't do our best
yes but I would do it with a sincere and pure heart
Hun.
Okay.
This kind of shit doesn't even feel like news anymore.
I hope this doesn’t break up Tenacious D again.
I hope the shooter had the foresight to place a Polymarket bet on himself
another failed attempt, like the one before he won the election, now another one to help him in the midterms? lol this shit is scripted
God keeps saving him because he hasn't finished destroying the usa yet.
Or he's the most unpopular president ever and someone has already tried to kill him and lots of people want to. I'm legit 50/50 tho
Imagine the first one was faked and now they're dealing with copycats.
It would be so on brand.
As long as people are shooting at him its all good
Wait this is real? The fuck
Instead of a traditional roasting by a comedian, the event was set to feature Oz Pearlman, an Israeli mentalist, who performs mind-reading demonstrations.
Hoping we get some Mossad mind control assassin discourse out of Qanon folks with this
You can't just hace your first name be Oz. Last name is okay
Ever heard of Osman the Great? Checkmate, Byzantine.
I haven't. Couldn't have been that great
CSPAN callers area already saying this shit was staged lol
Didn't see that one coming did you bozo
If the mentalist was any good none of this would have happened.
Ku¢k Patel
Excuse me, Waiter....my Ka$h is cucked, will you please take it back to the kitchen?
Why can no one do it properly?
The overlap of people willing to do a high profile political assassination and people able to competently pull off a high profile political assassination is very small.
A lot of success stories are people who got lucky.
see: the clusterfuck with the archduke
Smdh my dick head, nobody wants to impress Jodie Foster anymore
The x files episode "never again" uses Jodi Foster for the psycho voice in a guy's head. Truly amazing work there.
For your dear, for your honey ...
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
You used to be able to impress Jodie Foster, now you can't because of woke
Plot armor.
I had to look this one up and damn it is real
https://xcancel.com/i/status/2048180791356821988
Getting in on the ground floor this was a false flag to distract from iran.
When you do a distraction to distract from a distraction to distract from a distraction...
OR just a distraction so Trump doesn't have to speak in front of people.
NOW they can use the remote controlled A.I. puppet that WE taxpayers paid for.
They are sending JD Vance to do press briefings while KKKaroline Levitt is on maternity leave.
Aah, the lesser of two weasels.
Erika Kirk was in the building...
Vance is going after Melania now?
This is just like when they were passing through Butler, PA and Trump decided that he wanted an ear piercing. But nooooo, Donnie T can't just fucking go to Claire's like a normal person...
Maybe it's just the timing of the photo, but Trump seems suspiciously unfazed compared to everyone else in that photo. Not sure what it's suspicious of, but it's weird
Trump doesn't know what he had for breakfast the old coot.
i'd be surprised if he consistently knows where he is
The guy's like 100 years old, I'm surprised he can string a sentence together
I mean have you heard him speak?
"Nothing bad can happen, only good can happen"
For a native English speaker who went to university???
My crackpot theory is that he is illiterate
Dang, they missed.
We need only be lucky once.
easier to get lucky if you plan more
In live footage of the incident, shouting could be heard in the background, with someone yelling "USA" and "God bless America" repeatedly.
Imagine rooting for your country during a shooting. I'd argue that a shooting is the new 'as American as Apple pie' as American as a shooting. As American as gun violence.
Jamil Abdullah al-Amin (formerly H. Rap Brown) said "Violence is as American as cherry pie."
Why can't...
Must. Not. Fedpost.
Why can't we have nice things?
can't have shit in this country
Third time wasn't a charm...
Goddamn i'm fucking jaded
I saw this and my brain immediately went "Oh, unfunny bit headline, I wonder what lib came up with this?"
Right? This felt like an OG Huffington Post headline about the President storming out after a mean joke.
Yeah I thought this was an unfunny bit too, before I took it seriously.
I wonder which flavour of crank was this. RIP anyways. Lmao anyways.
The incompetency suggests disillusioned Qanoner.
I mean, it doesn't matter, they always blame it on "radical leftists" no matter what.
Reports show that the perpetrator has a left hand, a clear sign of his affiliation with the left, calling many to ask the question: "Why do we keep letting the left get away with this?
apparently they're trying to blame it on hasan
lmao, I wonder which think tank cooked that one up?
Are seppos so tv poisoned they can’t imagine any other type of activity outside of shooting? No wonder they only founded country after black powder invention
Confused how you could possibly get through security with a gun in an event like that. Makes me really want to lean towards inside job to distract from Iran or insider who wanted to kill Trump and had pre-existing access or the shooter had help from someone who was in that position to get the gun through security.
Apparently you just sprint past them
It sounds like it happened at the security cordon. The metal detectors went off on someone, and then either they pulled out a gun they were trying to smuggle in and decided to go for broke right then and there, or the closest SS agent just panicked at the alarm and started blasting which made the others join in.
Unless there's clear footage of the former, I'm just going to assume it's the latter and any claims to the contrary are just the typical "literally every single word any official government spokes-ghoul says is some manner of lie" bullshit.
the metal detectors were inside the building, rather than outside. there's valid reasons for that, everything with security is a tradeoff.
we'll just have to do it again
the funniest possible thing could happen tonight
Real Franz Ferdinand continuing his leisurely drive after a bomb goes off vibes
We are spanking the bare butt, balls, and back of the guy who did this
Wolf Blitzer describing what happened:
This would be an intense situation if anything ever happened. We know from experience the inverse is true, though.
Yea why can't anyone ever hit this guy it's not like he's a small target and you'd probably get him or make the surgeon's jobs really fucking hard even with a wound that otherwise wouldn't be immediately lethal
Only one attempt actually shot anywhere near him. One got arrested for lurking around some golf course bushes and this one just ran into a hotel lobby and got gunned down by security. Like I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that all the gunshots were just the Secret Service lighting someone up for trying to barge through a security cordon, so the only "active shooter" was some SS agents.
There’s the guy that blew himself up in January 2025
One got arrested for lurking around some golf course bushes
don't stick your dick through the fence smhmh fucken amateur
Bluesky...
Wait, the WHCA circle-jerk is actually being held at the Hinckley Hilton?
Always is/has been.
It’s the largest ballroom in the city, so basically all the big galas are there. (And the National Prayer Breakfast!)
https://bsky.app/profile/lemieuxlgm.bsky.social/post/3mkef77eo3c2f
😔
Oh shit im surprised he was awake
He's awake now!
Better luck next time
WATCH LIVE: Trump holds press conference after shooting at White House Correspondents' Dinner
~~It hasn't started yet. It's a PBS stream so right now there's only ambience audio.~~
Started!
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
ahh oh well i spose. its the thought that counts.
Dude had one job...
