Even if it was a choice, that would be ok
(midwest.social)
LadyButterfly she/her
196I lowkey believe the vast majority of monosexual people are actually bisexual people who have decided for one reason or another they will only date one gender.
If that is the case, then I've made that decision unknowingly from my own self
Agreed. Honestly believe that no one is truly entirely hetero or homosexual. I mean, either of those existing is predicated on the existence of a strict gender binary. If gender is a spectrum, sexuality necessarily has to be as well.
Wholly agree, it's a spectrum. I'm het, but that's just a shorthand convenience label that says I'm for the most part attracted to people that don't look like me, even if it's not particularly useful or necessarily true, but I don't think it's a bad word if it's helping express something I like.
When I do think it's an awful word is when it's used to restrict someone's freedom in choosing a partner, or forcing someone's view of themselves into a black and white stereotype, so it's a rather loaded word at this point.
It's just so simplistic and limiting for there to be words that treat attraction like a fixed trait. I've got to be straight, gay, bi, or some global descriptor for my own behaviour? That sucks.
Like maybe I'm straight, but in a "knows when dudes are hot and comfortable at kink parties" way, you know? There's no word that doesn't lump me in with loads of people I have nothing in common with.
Like maybe I'm straight, but in a "knows when dudes are hot and comfortable at kink parties" way, you know
I'm throwing you in the "fun people" pile, so there's another label ;)
If it was a choice, don't you think I'd try it? I'm not getting much luck on the other side!
Oh. When did you last have a pie?
But that(sexuality in general) being a choice would make life much more easier. Instead of a current method of just having to accept it, no matter how bad hand was dealt.
Like being gay in a country with strong religious influence can be a death sentence. Even in more liberal or accepting culture, there are still going to be difficulties. Or being Ace, while not a death sentence, is a guaranteed way to have relationship difficulties throughout life. Or even as simple as being a woman with too high libido is going to branded as a slut or a guy with not high enough libido is not man.
Basically anything too far off the basic or stereotypical representation of any aspect related to sex is going to guarantee issues.
While yeah it shouldn't be that way, in reality it is and having the ability to choose or easily change some aspects would be rather useful skill.
Disclaimer: i don't have anything against sexual minorities, as after saying that i usually get lumped up into the same group who thinks conversion camps are a good idea. The idea likely stems from personal issues and seeing the benefit of that idea.
I just can't understand why even discussing this idea is such a taboo subject.
If that was the case no one would choose to be LGBT+ because it would have a degree of difficulty and if it's purely a choice and not biological, why would you? There's no material benefit to it.
I can only read such a sentiment as being anti-lgbt. Having the ability to 'choose' would be horrible, because it implies we ultimately should not exist.
Fair point, not many would make relationships more difficult just for fun. Those can be difficult enough already.
Just to clarify, i am not against lgbt, neither do i think that someone shouldn't exist. Well maybe except rapists and murders or fascist, but that's besides the point. It's just form personal issues and no hatred towards others, just myself.
(sorry if this posts twice phone is going sideways) My life would be so much easier if I could choose not to be trans, or choose to have anything more than my very specific attractions. I think I'd probably go for it honestly, or maybe take a break sometimes, it's exhausting and lonely
I would most definitely go for it myself as well and my problems aren't even that severe.
Stay strong, hopefully it get better in the future.
I mean, no objections here.
Just trying to bring a bit of hope in that, even with the recent fascist uprisings everywhere, I think the world has been gradually progressing in the last several decades, and societies are now more accepting of minorities in general.
I want to believe that what we're seeing are the death throws of a greedy, selfish and unaccepting culture and generation, that's trying to contaminate whatever fresh minds it still can after having lost most of us, and that our most important job is to fight them and protect the new generation from these degenerates.
Yeah, it has been slowly improving, even despite current setbacks and that's very good. Hopefully next generations will face less and less judgment from general society and that would most definitely fix some issues.
But i do think some will still remain, like a compatibility issue. How many couples break up over something as simple as a difference in libido? How many relationships don't even start just because lack of mutual sexual attraction, even though everything else suits?
I doubt that less judgment from general society would help much against that part?
Tbf I feel like if one finds it important to have sex in a relationship, and the other has a low desire for it, and they can't find a solution, it's fair to break up. Just do it on good terms and don't hold a grudge/spite for one another. Look instead at the positive experiences that were had together, if any.
Less judgement definitely would help, if only to make relationships less strained or artificially kept in place because of power imbalance.
Yep, and people change with time, maybe one kept the same drive they had in their early 20's, the other did not. This happens with other things as well, and if anything, sexual issues might just be a symptom that people's interests, needs and priorities have changed and are no longer aligned...
Growing old together is a game of compromises, but as long as both are willing to play, it is fun.
Completely fair, as there currently isn't much else to do/any other solution.
