Busgirl [she/her]
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnnsHappy 4/20 everyone! I recently started drinking coffee in the last year after never really liking it. Growing up I would try my mom's coffee every once in a while but it always tasted burnt and bitter. Looking back I realize that I didn't like that coffee due to my mom usually steeping it in a French press for 15-20 minutes.
I got into coffee in the last year due to my roommate who worked as a barista making me some and it being actually flavorful. But we were using a drip coffee machine and it wasn't strong enough for my liking. Before I actually started drinking coffee I liked to watch coffee gadget reviews cause I thought they were interesting? Which is how I found out about the aeropress which is my way I make my coffee in the morning.
The aeropress is kind of a three one thing cause it's a pour over, French press and manual espresso machine all in one, in addition I use a hand crank burr grinder to grind my beans and typically only add a bit of creamer as I want to taste the coffee as much as possible I also usually use medium roast beans.
How do you take your coffee/tea?
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::: spoiler spoiler :::
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After thinking it over I have decided that I don’t want to go back on HRT for a few reasons:
- I tried it once for about a year and didn’t like it
- I’m perfectly comfortable still presenting as masculine
- I have a family history of breast cancer
Sometimes I feel “less valid” because I don’t want HRT but then I just remind myself that that’s the transmedicalists and gatekeepers getting to me, so it doesn’t bother me for long.
I prefer my coffee black, maybe with a bit of soya milk sometimes.
i've been on and off of hrt a couple of times. right now i'm in my off time for my own reasons. we are always valid! <3
Thank you to everyone who commented on the previous trans mega and enjoyed the artwork
I like my coffee iced with a lil vanilla and my green tea plain, a fresh lemon squeeze on occasion
One really frustrating dysphoric thing
::: spoiler social dysphoria Is feeling dysphoric about the way I'm acting/talking with guys. Because like, I'm choosing to act that way, and that's how I feel like I "naturally" am, it just feels so gross though. But I literally don't know how to change it. Like with women, I feel a lot more comfortable with how I act. I can mirror them, I can be natural and it feels fine. I don't feel like I'm a man talking to a woman, more like just two people talking. But with a man I feel like another man and it's gross. Idk how to fix. :::
::: spoiler spoiler It's how you've been doing it your whole life until now, it's going to take a lot of effort to change. I'm not sure how to help, but I think having more female friends helps, also maybe interacting with men and women (or enbies!) at the same time :::
::: spoiler spoiler Yea :/ kinda assumed it would be a lot of effort. Have mostly women friends now thankfully. :::
I didn't know that I'd be getting a bonus boob upgrade with the injections in under 30 days. I'm an injection truther now
Part of this is probably more water retention since I'm off spiro now but there's been noticeable growth too. I'm just surprised since it's been so long since I started hrt
I feel the fuck out of this. Kinda crazy, not sure if it's injections or dosage, but hey
tea, black tea, green tea, white tea, hibiscus too. sometimes with (oat)milk, btw, sometimes as is. always atleast one and half litres. on the daily, every day
I like pour overs (origami or kalita wave depending on how confident I am that day) but I use aeropress for decaf because that shit is impossible to get right otherwise.
green or black tea with some kind of fruit added (guava or pear). steeped until cooled down so its as strong as possible. sometimes I forget the half drank steeping mug till the next morning and then drink it cold and slightly thicker from the concentration yum.
ah the average oversteeped tea enjoyer:
I love coffee but it hurts me, so tea it is! Straight oolong for now
Thank you everyone for your support on my comment last mega, I meant to get back earlier but was really tired today.
Happy Lesbian Visibility week!
::: spoiler spoiler ~~stunning lack of visible lesbians in my bed~~ :::
Get in your own bed and you wont have that problem presumably
Real
I've been in a wierd state since about 3 AM this morning where no matter what I can't go back to sleep but my head hurts so much.
Currently 5:30 AM. Past 2 and a half hours of conciousness have been rough. But the rest of the day should go fine once I fully wake up.
You need to sleep more
I do!
I went to bed earlier yesterday for this reason. It just made me wake up earlier!
So, for context, a lot of the people I'm friends with or otherwise close to are people without a lot of friends or otherwise on the "outside". Just how things work out, could speculate why, whatever is how it is.
But what's frustrating for me then, is when friend one is frustrated I'm friends with friend two. Neither of them get along with hardly anyone. This situation keeps happening, and like ofc it happens. Everyone I like is generally unliked or struggles to get along with others. But damn I keep getting in this position and it sucks.
Tomorrow is therapy for the first time since my crash out/OCD flare/??? and I just hope it goes okay. I want to get better and so I will get better, but that doesn't mean it'll be easy... I hope she can just dismiss my BPD worry because of something really simple that I missed
I gained 20 lbs while I was in surgery recovery, and I really like how big my boobs got on it... wish I could lose 20 lbs but keep my new big fat tits. This rocks.
::: spoiler bottom surgery Got to use my actual dildos on myself. Having a vagina is awesome!! You just keep going, has vibe inside feels good-weird. I never did any ass play, so this is all a first. My prostate is reachable through my vagina which is also great 👍
I only bought this fuck-off huge ones cause they were fairly close to my old size (ones a little longer but skinnier, the other is pretty bang on) and everyone Ive topped has been a size queen. I am not a size queen lol, I have never claimed to be, as great as these are they would probably be more fun if they were smaller. :::
Ooh sounds like so much fun!!! Very jealous haha! Also even if you lose 20 pounds again won't your boobs still be more than before that's what someone told me?
I am a tea purist. I enjoy the full flavor of the leaf. No need to cut with milk or lemon. Don't get me started on sugar teas!
Boba tea is fucking delicious if I can find a vegan one.
Love good coffee but I drink instant with a bunch of cream and sugar in the morning because I can't be bothered to do anything else. It certainly is caffeine!
In other news, it's 9 months since I met my GF today and I love her very much. :snail-wave:
Once it warms up enough I'll switch over to tereré. Any other yerba mate drinkers?
I just do mate tea. More common than any other type of tea in here.
Is it normal to be easily tired and fatiqued when starting hrt? Ive been feeling that way and im guessing its cuz my body is getting used to the new hormonal balance+the whole second puberty thing taking a bunch of energy (im on injection monotherapy, its not cuz of any AA side effects)
I guess... when did you start? If its like a couple months ago or less its probably something else. It took me years before I started noticing deconditioning from not having T anymore.
3 weeks, ig it could be something else but i have no clue what that could possibly be
Drinking enough water? Getting enough sleep? Getting enough iron? Feeling under the weather otherwise?
I have been sleeping slightly worse than before
Feeling under the weather otherwise
Ive been feeling a little sick, now that u say it
Is it unnecessarily risky to do DIY HRT without getting blood tests? The closest place I can get gender-affirming care is an hour away, and I can't drive, and my parents refuse to take me to get that kind of care. I don't think I can afford something like Plume. If I were to DIY like some pills or something without getting blood work done, would the risks outweigh the reward? I don't know what the risks would be to even try to decide for myself.
No, it's fine. As long as you keep to the instructions on the DIY info websites, like diyhrt.info.
I think injections are easier to do without tests (maybe just because it's what I do) and have less side-effects than having to use anti-androgens, get injections if you can, there are online vendors and you can probably get them. It's a little expensive to start, but 1 vial will last a long time. And injections are very safe if you don't go over the recommended doses.
~~I'm not experienced on pills, but I think it can be done. If you can't get blood tests, it's fine, don't worry too much. Just do some research on dosing and pay attention to side-effects and such things. I would ask people that are on pills about it first, though, and give the website I linked a read too.~~ TerminalEncounter knows what she's talking about, listen to her.
You should have levels checked because everybody's livers metabolizes hormones differently. You can always lie about the reason for your visit, tell your parents its for I dunno STI testing and want to speak to the doctor alone. Then get a req for whatever hormones you want when theyre not there and explain the subterfuge to the doctor and that you need confidentiality.
Anyway, the risk is more that youll underdose than have too high a dose. Too high is survivable and youll probably be fine but depending on what you get it can increase your risk of clotting (beyond a cis women, beyond a cis woman taking birth control). You'll know if, mentally and emotionally, its "too high" without a test. Youre trying to get a sense for how well youre body is taking to the HRT, and adjust dose from there. Some people need more, some people need less. Minimum time between change or start dosing and blood test is like... 6-8 weeks? I think? So you have time.
Do not take birth control pills as your HRT please.
Could I see a regular doctor to do the blood tests? I can get somewhere local to get regular stuff done, but the actual prescribing of hormones is one to three hours away, and I can't justify going there over seeing someone local. My sibling could possibly drive me there, but it'd be hard for parents not to know that we've been gone like that. And then the local doc would probably freak out if they found out I was supplying my own HRT. Ugh! I just feel like I can't win!
You should be able to, yeah.
Doctors should ideally be doing more harm reduction approaches. The ones I know would advise you to stick to a prescription for HRT but work with you for blood tests regardless, whether your DIY or not. Would your local doc be like that? I have no idea, you have a better view on what they're like. I've heard theres online doctors you can get a lab req from, and possibly planned parenthood can get you a bloodwork req? Depending on state they might even do informed consent if you just wanna go through the prescription system over DIY. All you need is your testosterone and estradiol levels checked after you start DIY to see how well youre responding and then go up or down from there, you could get a check before to see your baseline.
I would love to go the prescription route, but when I asked my doctor about it, she said no one in their building did that kind of work anymore. So they might draw blood and tests, but I don't know that they'd go over the results for it. I know there's online places like Plume, but I can't really afford $100 a month on top of medication costs. And I don't know if Medicaid would pay for any of it. Would it be possible to call the doctors an hour away and see if they'd send the req, and go over it with me remotely? I guess I should really just call them and find out.
So they might draw blood and tests, but I don't know that they'd go over the results for it.
That's literally fine, honestly when I start getting blood tests (diying without right now, its fine), I plan on just reading them myself anyway. Doctors frequently give awful advice and ranges anyway.
Yeah give em a call. If theyre not comfortable prescribing HRT (this is a failure in their practice if theyre GPs, gender affirming care is part of the standard of care and if they dont know about it theres the WPATH - which not great or perfect but its at least got recommendations for doctors), they probably wont be great with interpreting your results. But you can read your lab results all the same and target your levels to where youre comfortable and safe.
I just ran out of both unflavored green and black loose-leaf teas today, but luckily I timed my order pretty well a month ago and should be getting ~2 kg of the good stuff from China any day now. I do western-style brewing for convenience's sake, with my tiny, cute-ass teapot, with a little bit of honey.
Ooh that sounds delicious!
i've been addicted to gunpowder green lately! if i want to go hard to flavortown i sprinkle in some orange zest.
also after breaking a tea pot i started using a french press and it works really well. but yeah bulk tea from china is such a gamechanger
down with cis
down with cis
DOWN WITH CIS
down with cis
french press everything. cold or hot. raw sugar (tea and coffee) or honey (tea) if i have some.
i've basically given up on coffee for the most part because tea is such a better bargain and it doesn't tear my guts up in the morning. also it's easier to decide my caffeine strength (black tea = strong, green = medium, white = nighttime)
I appreciate the taste of nice coffee, whether made at home with good equipment or from a shop. But, tbh, cheap ass coffee made in a cheap Mr Coffee ass machine gets the job done for me in the morning, so that's what I do.
Tea I like loose leaf black breakfast tea I get from a really good local place. Sometimes with nothing, sometimes milk and sugar
Understandable! If I'm drink cheap stuff though it's gotta be dark roast or else it doesn't taste like anything to me.
Word. But yeah, if I'm getting real coffee I usually prefer a lighter roast
Chinese jasmine black tea, steeped for 2.5 minutes in slightly sub-boiling water, nothing else added. You can re-steep the tea once or twice throughout the day for a slightly mellowed flavor and lower caffeine content, so your leaves last a lot longer than you'd think.
Solidarity with my trans comrades. I got nothing else to add but my tea snob opinions, but I love ya.
You're welcome to share as much as you want 😊
I love ya.
Same
I like many kofi, many kofi good. Every morning I have drip with whole milk, because its easy. I like Turkish kofi but its a treat and I can't make it at home. the aeropress is fine but I normally want more than 1 cup and dont want to clean a whole aeropress just to have more kofi. percolators/stovetop machines have the same problem. French press is nice too. I dont like pourover cause its just frustrating to do for multiple cups. Not as frustrating as perc&aero tho. I dont want ritual, I want sweet dark bean juice with milk, and I want it now.
French press
Oh nice french press tastes good!
for 15-20 minutes.
Oh dear god that sounds terrible.
How many cups do you usually drink? Also yeah I'm kinda kicking myself now that I didn't get the xl version on of the aeropress
Anywhere from 1 cup (big cup, about a 4 on the pots scale) to 1 pot, depends on the day.
I wanted to add that with the right temperature and grind you could steep the coffee indefinitely. There's a maximum amount of material that can dissolve in a fixed unit of volume, as long as there is no agitation and as long as you've skimmed the foamy fines. I've forgotten my French press steeping for half an hour and my only complaint is that it wasn't as hot.
Hmmm technically true but also I want my kofi I want it now I want it hot and then I cool it off with milk and everything is better that way (sorry I'm set in my ways on this I won't change because kofidrinking is inconsequential so I can be intransigent as a treat).
i drink coffee and tea black at home, but if i'm at a cafe with a proper espresso machine i'll have a flat white with oat milk
I add oat milk to either coffee or tea, though I can drink tea without anything. Never been able to drink black coffee.
I usually drink an energy drink for a treat drink, but I swap that for iced canned coffee probably once a week. I don't usually drink coffee hot. Tea I can enjoy either way.
Drip coffee, using an inox steel filter and brazilian style: very hot and in 35°c heat. It's so funny we drink hot coffee everyday even in scorching days, I love it.
Turkish coffee is the best coffee, they got it right the first time.
Ooh what's it like I've never had it?
It's thicc as hell and they serve it in a tiny little glass smaller than a shot glass
I drink black cold brew. I started drinking cold coffee when I was doing construction cause unless I brought it, Id have to buy a cup on a break. And then Id have to down it in like 15 minutes and didnt want to do that with hot coffee. So now I have a taste for plain black iced coffee or cold brew with nothing else. Cold brew has more coffee per coffee.
I still drink tea but not as much after HRT. I loved licorice root tea, and the weird European licorice candies. Anyway, it turns out licorice is a mild anti androgen so I was micro dosing HRT for ages lol.
AREOPRESS REPRESENTTTTTTTTTTT
I FUCKING LOVE MY AREOPRESS
ITS ELEVEN YEARS OLD AND HASNT LET ME DOWN
IVE HAD IT SO LONG THE PLUNGER BROKE
THE METHOD WHERE YOU FLIP IT UPSIDE DOWN IS THE WAY TO GO AND I HAVE SPILT IT LESS THAN 10 TIMES EVER.
YES I AM SINGLE.
I love my aeropress! I wanna get the glass version eventually but it's like 200 but it's a bifl kinda thing to me. I wish I hadn't bought mine in a brick and mortar store cause then I could've gotten a pretty pink one online TwT. Also it might be time to look into a new aero press they are made of plastic and do degrade, Also I just use the no drip spout so no need to flip it for me. Also high five!
Im trashy so I like my flavored grounds but my favorite way to have coffee is to have a double shot of espresso in a cute little cup and an ice cube to make it go down in one gulp easier.
I like loose leaf green tea. I heat water in my electric kettle, pour it over the leaves in a pyrex to steep, then pour through a mesh strainer into my mug. Usually I make sure to use a little less water than would fill the mug so I can add a touch of cold water to make it drinkable right away.
Mmm I'm a big cold brew enjoyer. Much less acidic! Now that's getting warm again I think I'll try to go back to that vs the cafe latte protein shakes I've been doing
I've never tried cold brew can you heat it up later? Cause cold coffee makes my mouth feel weird
Oh you sure can, it's just that it's cold... well, when brewed
Sorry too many comments again. They're quite dark heh. But also perhaps corny. Well it's my true feelings! Don't judge :(
::: spoiler content warning
::: spoiler death
I am too dependent on other people and what they think of me. It is a chain that binds me. I want "support", but what does that mean? Just a feeling of not being alone?
Why do I need to feel like I'm not alone?
Humans are born to be lonely and to die by our lonesome. We must live our own lives.
Not wanting to die alone is just my fear. I must overcome it. I need to learn how to withstand solitude, or I'm going to keep hurting myself.
:::
::: spoiler spoiler Youre in a dark place right now, I know sleeping was an issue and you did not get a break between semesters. Things must be very hard.
Humans are not born to die alone, it takes at least 2 people to make another human and so you should say we are born to be together. Some parents are very bad at showing that love, some friends take advantage, some family take much more than they give, some societies are oppressive - but we're definitely not born alone or meant to be alone.
Your family system appears to be pushing a lot of guilt (maybe abuse?) on you and have done so for a long time. And so, I would guess, your view on what love is is entangled with notions of obligation, focusing on others comfort, guilt and shame. Youre also trans, and if I had a buck for every trans femme that has a complex about preferentially favoring other peoples' comfort above her own needs Id be fucking rich as fuck cause I swear to god its so common lol.
I think learning to disentangle those notions of obligation to your parents and family will certainly help you, and if you need to - forming a new family out of people who actually show you love with guilt or shame. :::
::: spoiler spoiler
Thank you sister terminal. You've been very patient with me.
Humans are not born to die alone, it takes at least 2 people to make another human and so you should say we are born to be together.
And yet I know deep down I will still live and die alone. How else can I cope but by pretending that this is how it is meant to be?
Your family system appears to be pushing a lot of guilt (maybe abuse?) on you and have done so for a long time.
This is true. The abuse part as well. There were severe violations of my bodily autonomy that fucked me up. Guilt tripping was there. I had to stay in the closet leading to a complete inability for me to explain what was wrong with me. But I couldn't maintain a good facade and fought with them everyday.
And so, I would guess, your view on what love is is entangled with notions of obligation, focusing on others comfort, guilt and shame.
I know and I can't do anything about it. It's tied to my sense of pride. If I don't fulfill my obligations I feel like I ripped off someone who deserved better.
:::
Down with cis
Also, about half-and-half almond milk and heavy cream, and usually a lighter roast because I'm a caffeine fiend. If it's dark roast, I might throw in a little bit of honey and maybe molasses to take the edge off, but I also tend to get garbage-tier coffee due to time constraints.
::: spoiler kink I went to a sex shop to buy a flogger for experimentation purposes and ended up getting upsold for something I'm literally never gonna use because I was overwhelmed and didn't know what I was doing lol :::
What did ya get?
Insomnia .... ah what a removed you are. Please let me sleep past 4:30 AM. I promise, I don't have more work to do ...
Well ... I do have more work to do ...
God I'm so fucked and so stupid
I have been super emotionally distressed these past few days (especially after my parents continued to hurt me on sunday). So I give in to my impulses and in the middle of a lecture make my dad book me a train to them.
::: spoiler content warning
::: spoiler suicide
My boobs have grown bigger, and my hair has grown longer. I'm only risking things by going back. And these are the people who keep hurting me and endangering my life by pushing me to suicide
I keep having these daydreams where I'm outed at their home and kill myself in front of them. Why the fuck am I being so self-destructive? Do I really just want to kill myself but want my death to have an impact?
:::
Nearly breaking down into tears in the middle of class is not a good look for me huh? Where is my inner strength to help me!?
::: spoiler spoiler
Can't kill myself until I get my brother through college and pay off my loans. Then I'll have all the responsibilities in my life finished and can die in peace ✌️
Just waiting for that day to come. Please come quickly.
:::
recently got into longjing tea, there was a vendor nearby and i'm trying to avoid using teabags at this point so i'm making the switch to loose leaf. with most other green teas i would add a little bit of agave but i don't think longjing tea needs it. only thing i still have to add is my tummy medicine.
i got some roasted tieguanyin as well but haven't tried it yet. green tea is just so part of my routine that it's difficult for me to switch it up for a day but i'm really curious about the taste...
Drink coffee with just soy milk myself, I know people rave about oat milk in coffee but soy tastes better to me. No sugar just coffee and soy milk
I've never tried soy or oat milk maybe I'll grab some at the store later!
If you want the benefits of coffee them antioxidants and such soy milk is supposed to help out even more since the proteins in it bond with some such chemical in there and make it a slow release. Idk I'm fuzzy on the details since it's been a while since I read how not to age
Ooh good to know!! Will definitely be trying oat milk then! I love when foods do that like rice and beans reacting for that super protein.
It's more just soy milk tbh, oat doesn't have enough protein I think
I misread oop
aw yeah first
Tried to use an aero press once and blasted hot coffee sludge all over the wall of a tiny kitchen in the offices of the royal navy.
Anyway I use a French press at home (steep for 4 minutes -- 15 minutes, wtf?) and add maple syrup to it because my beans are cheap.
I have black coffee from a drip filter on a timer on the morning. If I'm at a cafe I have an oat flat white.
At two of my work places they have coffee pod machines and I might have a black coffee if I am running late
I like strawberry flavoured green tea in a bag at work in the afternoon.
With guests I might brew a pot of black tea (vanilla bergamot early grey) or a herbal tisane, especially if I'm doing tarot. I have a little warming stand with a candle for the pot.
I make iced peach tea in summer.
Ooh yum on the ice peach tea!!!
Up with trans!
UP WITH TRANS
uppies for the trans
::: spoiler mild nsfw
This is the ideal 3 people marriage
:::
you are so right tbh
Tea only for me, mostly herbal teas. I have this yummy red hibiscus tea with orange peal and mint I'm going through right now, usually with a splash of oat creamer and a scoop of artificial sweetener with dinner.
Ooh that sounds delicious! I really wanna try more tea as most I dislike.
@CARCOSA@hexbear.net pin pls
Oatmilk with strong espresso and no sugar
