You cannot possibly prepare yourself for this house.
(www.rightmove.co.uk)
Terrible Estate Agent PhotosI did not expect Jedward.
No-one expects Jedward.
If someone had the funds for it, this could be remade into a lovely home with a lovely garden. There is potential there... but holy shit the amount of renovation that needs to be done before a real human can move in is exhausting.
It'll be bought by a "property investor" who will gut it, put in new bathroom and kitchen, redecorate in shades of grey, then resell it for a serious profit. They might clear the back yard and put down turf as well. It'll all take a couple of months unless there's something seriously wrong, eg rotten roof.
The paint doesn't bother me one bit, since that's an easy fix and was clearly loved by the previous owner. What bothers me, however, is the clear signs of neglect to the home's maintenance (bathrooms falling apart, yard in disarray, carpets tattered, etc.), which is much more involved to correct, and is usually paired with much more expensive demos (structural, plumbing, electrical, etc.).
Don’t know why everybody is hating on it. It looks like a house where people could express themselves. Pretty cool. If you don’t like it you can renovate and paint t your own
Maybe because it's also in awful shape.
It’s a house they can’t go to the gym. Honestly not sure why you’re body shaming a house.
Seems like you could only express yourself in the form of heiroglyphs or teenage heart throbs.
Jedward, One Direction and JUsTCViB'FBER
Witness Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjFs9CPGhts&list=RDqjFs9CPGhts&start_radio=1
TIL my mental health isn't that bad.
It’s really ironic that while the internet is actually driving all crazy it’s also place where I can see just how sane I actually am
Yeahhhhhh this strikes me as someone who should have gotten help but didn't and was in a weird place.
And that weird place was a stencil store.
Or you are just not as old yet. Some people also stop caring/get depressed when they get old and live alone.
Seems like the listing might be part of a pyramid scheme.
The paint is no big deal.
The only thing that really bothers me about it is the layout:
Why the fuck is the toilet on the opposite side of the kitchen from the rest of the bathroom?!
They need to either:
- move the toilet to the same room as the rest of the bathroom and then knock down the vestibule/pantry wall to make the kitchen less tiny, or
- knock down the "shower room" wall to expand the kitchen, add a sink opposite the toilet (probably swapping them so the sink would be where the toilet is and the toilet would be under the stairs), and build a full bath somewhere upstairs, taking space from the weirdly-long bedroom.
::: spoiler Edit: now added shitty modified floorplans
Option 1:
Option 2: :::
I wish my toilets were separate. It's stupid to have the toilet next to where you brush your teeth.
Do us all a favor and never make a house layout again.
Jeez, you didn't have to be mean about it, Mr. I-want-to-walk-through-the-kitchen-after-pooping-before-I-wash-my-hands!
Why does the toilet need to be with the shower? Some sort of kink?
It doesn't need to be with the shower.
But I noticed you didn't question why it needs to be with the sink.
Wouldn't be terrible if you're living with someone else. Actually kinda nice having separate use case.
That's what option 2 would be for: a half-bath downstairs, and a full bath upstairs.
Wouldn't be surprised if the toilet was a later addition and simply tacked onto the back. I believe that wasn't unheard of.
If you look at the aerial photo (pic #17), the neighboring unit on the right has a matching(?) bump-out. I think the unit on the left has done an addition, but I think this space might be original (although maybe it didn't originally have a toilet in it).
"Oh, Egypt... Egypt... Egypt... Justin Bieber shrine... Egyp... wait, what?"
Well, you pay 125k for walls, a roof and some pipes and electrics. In some places that's cheap.
Yeah, honestly if I were in the market there, this place would catch my eye real quick. The poor taste can be mostly solved with some paint in a weekend or two, but the terrible look will be offputting to enough people that you will probably get a better price
Nah, look at the landscaping in the backyard + loose/random tiling in the bathrooms. I'd be worried about mold.
The last house we bought was owned by a lady who collected and restored old books. There were over 5000 books in the house. There were bookcases on every wall, many of them in front of windows. The were stacks of books all over. It made the place really dark and feel cramped, but my wife and I could easily picture it without the books and bookcases, while apparently a lot of people couldn't. We got an amazing deal on it.
My first house was a bank repo. The previously owner was an investor who bought it at peak price in the 2006 housing and then got renters into the place. The rentors were reportedly severe alcoholics from the neighbors. Beer and wine stains on all the carpets. They had also left something on the stove that caught the microwave on fire there was smoke damage in the kitchen and laundry room.
When the housing market crashed the owner let the bank repo it and evict the tenants. It then was on the market for over a year until we offered 20% below asking price (70% less than the house sold in 2006.
I then worked my ass off for a year to get the place up to shape. All new flooring everywhere. New paint everywhere. I also redid all of the landscaping as it was mostly dead. After a year it was the loveliest home in the neighborhood.
That's really cool, and you clearly did well. But I can also see how your situation was a little different in that most people don't have the ability or inclination to do that kind of work themselves. I looked at a lot of fixer-uppers, and they really only make sense if you're doing the work yourself. They're usually priced low by about the amount to have that work done, otherwise the owners would just do it and charge more.
I was prepared for Groverhaus: UK, but not for GroverTut’s Psychadelic Tomb
Real estate agents when you get to the bedroom:
Thank you. I am properly disoriented now.
My partner say this might be an example of Outsider art.
It might be. Pretty terrible outsider art, though.
wooowwww
It's like living inside KidPix
"property that can be tailored to individual tastes and requirements. Early viewing is highly recommended to appreciate the scope and potential on offer within this promising property."
Realtor enjoyed writing thst
I'm disappointed by the lack of Egyptian theme in the backyard. I expected the them would carry through.
I appreciate the jaunty angle of the toilet cistern. It has seen some shit but maintains an indefatigable elan.
Honestly? A new coat of paint on the walls and a new kitchen & bathroom and this place would be pretty solid.
Looks pretty mouldy to me. I'd inspect that one verrry carefully.
Yeah, there is definitely a moisture problem somewhere. Could be from the fact that the shower is just a fucking floor pan in the middle of a room.
That was truly awful. Owner afflicted by some ancient mummy curse?
Picture #15 will shock you! (so much so that it's censored?)
I spent too long trying to figure out what was going on with the walls (and ceiling!) in #s 2 and 3. My first thought was a kid run amuck with markers, but it's too..."well done." Wall paper? No, it's not regular enough. All I can come up with is stamps, which is confusing on its own.
Oh, and the spot at the end of the stairs in #9, under the window to another planet--that's got to be beginning of a wormhole forming, right?
IDK if £125,000 is cheap for the area, but I imagine it would cost a lot more than it's worth to fix it. Looks like a bit of a disaster I'd expect to see on one of those shite reality shows where they fix up a house to flip it.
what sort of cultural art from today's civilizations will someone turn into a stroke induced feverdream on the walls of their house 2500 years from now? everything is born digital and most will of it will disappear whenever its format does
Only from physical artifacts? Plastics will mostly crumble from oxidation, so thank god it can't be Funko Pops.
But I've seen blown-glass ornaments of a head sticking out of a toilet.
omg! i honestly liked something here.
The Twilight poster? Or the Egyptian ice cream ad?
The Edward poster juxtaposed with the Jedward poster is peak
that unapologetic use of color, i think. pink doorframes? i could have those too.
Updating and Modernisation Required
Indeed.
The two crucifixes are a nice addition to all that.
100x the sales revenue if it be listed on the art market rather than the property market.
It's like a doctor who episode that really shit the bed
As a kid I had a short phase where I was obsessed with stickers and wanted to stick them on every part of the house. Seeing this I'm glad my parents didn't let me.
Egyptian hieroglyphs and Jedward - tasteful combination.
Most homes have good bones, but this one has whole preserved bodies.
"A gas fireplace is not inherently a fire hazard, so we made sure to drag this flimsy drape all the way across it."
Okay but the ceiling runner pattern kinda works.
Wow. Awful taste and poor execution! What a trip.
Can we talk about the singular run of fence? Nevermind the house, that's where my questions lie.
The rest of the fence wasn't putting up with that shit. Nature starting to heal in that backyard....
Were there boobs in pic 15 or something?
TBH I feel like maybe the wall of teen idols with a crucifix above them all tells a story I am not sure I want to hear.
But...having seen a lot of generic greige walls in my day, I admire something that's immediately so ugly to my eyes. Genuinely.
Did they just let the kids decorate?
