I love the toilet seat on the one in the background. When you don't give a fuck, anywhere can be a toilet!

Snails would disagree.

If you remove a snail's shell, you'd think they'd be faster because of the reduced weight. However, they actually become slower.

That's because when you remove their shell, they become a bit more slug-ish!

Once upon a time, there was a snail who was tired of being slow.

He went out and bought a fast sports car, had a custom paint job done with an 'S' on the hood, and installed a spoiler to make it go faster.

Everywhere the snail went, people would comment on his amazing car. He felt pretty good about it until one day, while stopped at a traffic light, a little old lady walked up and said, "That's a nice car, young man. But what's the 'S' for?".

The snail smiled and replied, "Well, you see, when people see me zipping past them, they say, 'Look at that S-car-go!'".

why did this hurt so much? lol

chirp chirp ^thank^ ^you^ ^though^ ^I^ ^laughed^

Edit: I tried for so long to get superscript text and I cannot get either my client to cooperate, or I just have no idea what I’m doing. Oh well.

^chirp^ ^chirp^

::: spoiler markup


*^chirp^ ^chirp^* :::

Oh, I see. It’s per word. Thank you.

Synthesis: snails are cars

snails are more hovercraft tbh

There are three other British gentlemen who would beg to differ.

That was one of their best specials

I believe in speed and power, and then I get stuck in the mud

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