Anon makes some changes
(midwest.social)
š¹Early to RISA š§
Greentextmanifesting this for myself
Still using 4chan so there's definite room for improvement.
>job interview is cut short
>they don't call me back
>fallback to cave routine
its ok to fap
Considering the rest of their lifestyle, there's very little chance that they were masturbating a sensible amount. A period of abstinence is a great way to normalize their masturbation habits.
You can do it too much. Had an ex fuck up his nerve endings with deathgrip bad enough he couldn't get off in me. Nobody's had trouble before or after so.
ĀÆ \_(ć)_/ĀÆ
but the solution is just do it less and grip less hard.
I also find that while we haven't got to needing to schedule sex yet, hubs and I do have to coordinate when we masturbate to get the best odds of mutual orgasm. His sweet spot seems to be 24-36h. Mine is technically as long as possible but if I try to wait more than a week I start having really surreal wet dreams about lizard people and people I haven't met in over a decade and it resets my refractory period to sometime next millennia.
That's like saying it's okay to eat to people who overeat on the daily
The problem isn't masturbating.
Everything is a problem if youāre doing it compulsively or mask something else.
Masturbating can surprisingly help with restless leg syndrome but doing it in work might be a problem.
So you understand that the problem isn't doing the thing, it's something else, and doing the thing is only bad because of that context. Then you ought to understand that treating the context is the solution, not insisting the person just not do the thing.
I do understand that, perhaps more acutely than most as Iāve had countless destructive āhobbiesā (my god hobby is the softest word I could find here) that I used to mask the underlying issue. Heck Iām still not sure I know the underlying cause but I have translated those destructive things with positive ones but the goal is the same. This is all to say Iām well versed in addiction, compulsions, and poor mental health.
With that in mind I would say that sometimes you have to stop the thing youāre doing, letās say masturbating here, so you can get your body back to baseline before you can even begin to work with a therapist or do some introspection.
Iām not saying we should demonise masturbation, just accept that for some people they may need to stop doing that for a period whilst they then fix the other shit they got going on.
Iām in my forties and really never been happy and had a shit childhood that is still the cause of the way my mind bullies me to this very day. Iāve tried therapy before but when youāre in the midst of masking all your shit with other shit you really canāt make any progress in my experience. What Iāve done now is spend several years working on myself and replacing negative addictions with positive ones. That afforded me the will power to begin to remove the substances and other coping strategies. Now I actually feel Iām in a place where I might benefit from some EMDR or trauma therapy.
With that in mind I would say that sometimes you have to stop the thing youāre doing, letās say masturbating here, so you can get your body back to baseline before you can even begin to work with a therapist or do some introspection.
Iām not saying we should demonise masturbation, just accept that for some people they may need to stop doing that for a period whilst they then fix the other shit they got going on.
If you think this is what "nofap" is about, you don't understand the issue. Nofap isn't a step toward therapy, nor does it avoid demonizing masturbation. It's manosphere propaganda aimed at lonely, frustrated men to manipulate them through shame and further deprivation. People who have a genuine problem with self control where masturbation is concerned are just catching strays in this war where nofap ideology is a weapon.
I had no idea that nofap was what you just described. I saw the green text as the person taking all those positives steps to get back to living life and not some Andrew Tate thing.
I apologise for my misunderstanding and wading into this discussion, as my concern is for the people who are doing things compulsively not manosphere stuff.
I get what youāre saying, but would you adopt the same stance for example for gambling or drinking alcohol? Theyāre not necessarily bad per se, itās the compulsion and the trigger points it evokes for some people where I think itās completely fine to just accept that for them not doing it at all - even if for a time - might be the correct move.
Yeah but drinking is inherently bad for you. Whether you "have a problem" or not, everyone would be healthier not drinking.
Masturbating is healthy, just like drinking water or excercise. Yes you can get water poisoning or you can over excercise and get terrible injuries, but plenty of each is good.
Comparing a natural behavior to dependency on addictive chemicals is a bit silly. I'm not sure you're taking this seriously. And before you come back with "masturbation releases chemicals we can form a dependency on", literally SO many other mundane things have the same effect. Conservatives and fascists always care about this one in particular though, and that's the real reason we're talking about it.
But thatās exactly what I am saying, thereās a wide variety of actions that - on their own - arenāt really harmful if done in moderation. Sure gambling and drinking are more extreme examples, but you yourself agree that these actions ārelease chemicals we can form a dependency onā. So does gambling, so does overeating, so does masturbation. If itās an issue for the person and theyāre not doing it for a while then I also donāt see the use in singling this out in the list of things here. If it helps the person get motivated/be proud and engage positive feedback loops to not do it, why single masturbation out as useless?
Of course, ānever fappingā and automagically being a good person is an absurd manosphere grift to push. But if they were following a specific diet which in itself also doesnāt turn your life around but gets the ball rolling would you have the same stance? If itās part of a process of change for a person I just donāt see the sense in such strong antipathy for this single case, I suppose.
In other words, of the list of things here - cold showers, room tidying, brushing teeth, not eating like crap - itās the masturbation this thread singles out and tells the person: no that thing, you should definitely continue doing that. Just seems unproductive to me.
But nobody suggests you go as long as you can without eating
how what
It will hit hard once he wakes up
This sounds like some redpilled conservative Jordan Peterson bullshit
Possibly but it also sounds like there making some legit improvements.Ā Maybe reserve judgment until they actually say something problematic.Ā
Cold shower? There are no bonus points for effort. Just take a shower if you can.
Extra levels of suffering suck and don't add anything to the experience. Basic self care is a good start. Trying to prove something to a straw man in the mind is silly.
isn't cold water better for the skin? at least it feels like it, when i do it once ever few years
Hot water damages the skin barrier. While cold water is better, lukewarm is fine for most people, especially since cold water won't be able to rinse shampoo and other products out of your hair properly.
https://www.mdpi.com/2077-0383/11/2/298
Probably got the idea from the manosphere. That being said, actually sticking to that particular habit is something to be proud of, and is completely harmless... when you are that low, anything you can be proud of is a win.
the manosphere
What about Seneca? Stoicism? What do they have to do with "the manosphere"?
Cold showers feel great.
You're not wrong, but we're talking about pond scum here. I doubt there was much Seneca involved
There is some evidence that taking cold showers is materially beneficial. If you don't have some underlying heart condition and can handle them, they're not bad, and they'll save on electricity/gas. The "nofap" thing is what concerns me, since that's a very "manosphere" concept with no middle ground between healthy sexuality and a crippling masturbation addiction (IIRC the former sometimes comes with crazy, unsubstantiated benefits in the fiction of the manosphere).
Sexual shame is used to control people. It's always a big red flag
Its only 5 days. Thats a fine amount to not fap. The reason its pushed it cause these porn addicted cunts are fapping like 5 times a day.
I don't know why you're being downvoted so heavily. I agree that five days isn't some brutal, or even abnormal, act of chastity. It's moreso that "nofap" has connotations beyond just breaking an unhealthy masturbation addiction, and because everyone's healthy status quo is different, keeping track of a specific number of days since you jorked your pork isn't a great metric of how someone's dealing with addiction. What's a lot more important is how you're approaching it; are you being mindful in the moment, or are you just doing it for a quick hit?
Recovering drug addicts will treat number of days since their last hit as a metric for success, but usually, e.g. with alcohol or nicotine, there isn't a healthy upside to the object of their addiction like masturbation. "Nofap" basically does treat it like something strictly detrimental, and it stigmatizes something that's normal, ironically probably coming with some mental health implications of its own (in a similar way that religious stigma against it often does).
That article doesn't say "cold showers are good for you!" it says "well, they aren't going to necessarily kill you, but watch out if you have these health conditions. I bet we can brainstorm some bullshit health benefits."
I bet we can brainstorm some bullshit health benefits.
Dude, jesus christ. The Cleveland Clinic is a real, nonprofit medical institution. A professional writer consulted a (named, he's right there) medical doctor for this. There's compelling enough evidence elsewhere to support what this article is saying. Linked is a 2025 PLoS One systematic review and meta-analysis for cold-water immersion (CWI), including cold showers; more research is needed, but the authors at least make a conclusion in favor of CWIs, which says a lot for this type of paper.
Can you please get off your DunningāKruger high horse for five seconds and stop contributing to the science denialism that's unraveling society? I take scalding hot showers; not everything has to be an attack you have to defend against.
Also:
That article doesnāt say ācold showers are good for you!ā
Motherfucker, the section header after the introductory paragraph literally reads: "Why cold showers are good for you". Was your problem that they missed the exclamation point or something?
i'm more familiar with the cleveland clinic than you are. this is literally a bullshit article.
Jesus shit you are worked up about this. Like, I have got to take some time and email these doctors and ask them why they wasted their lives creeping on people watching them shower. Why they are so perverted. They could have stayed home playing video games and the world would be exactly the same
i'm more familiar with the cleveland clinic than you are.
Good for you. It's hard to tell how much I need to explain to establish a baseline understanding when you act like such an insufferable, provably wrong dipshit.
They need to insufferable, it's the only thing they've got going for them. Without that they're just a regular garden variety dipshit.
excuse me i'm only 80% garden variety dipshit. the other part fell off
Okay I'm sorry for making fun of your stupid peer review failing shower research and your graduating bottom of your class and your inability to write a good article and your fucking up at your trade pretty much constantly because of graduating at the bottom of your class, you know like all family medicine doctors.
I think you both need to cool it a bit
i'm sorry, did YOU write the bullshit article? it's so stupid.
An ice plunge or rolling around in the snow both feel great afterwards. Really gets the endorphins going. The same applies to cold showers, although I usually do that only when I can get back into a 100Ā°C sauna immediately after. That's double the endorphin rush.
Yeah I enjoy how I feel after an ice shower or bath, but I hate doing it lol
I stick to hot shower + cold hair wash. Perfect for waking up and better for hair care. Win win.
You donāt want to do a job interview while being backed up with five days of semen youāll come in your pants if the interviewer says something nice.
Interviewer: So, you have an impressive resumeā¦
Interviewee: OH NOā¦ TRAIN IS LEAVING THE STATION
UH OH SPAGHETTIOS
If you wear a chastity belt it makes a bullet ricochet noise
Speaking from experience
Twist: interviewer is Sharon Stone
Scream: interviewer is no Sharon Stone
I feel gross when I skip a shower for a day - I can't comprehend how I'd feel after a month.
some people are so depressed that they kill themselves, being stinky is small potatoes
For sure - I'm glad the guy in the OP seems to be getting to a better place. His prior state sounds pretty horrific.
Every body is different, but generally for most people every 2-3 days tends to be the sweet spot for a full shower with shampoo, conditioner, etc.
Personally, I have greasy hair problems, and I ultimately found that showering less frequently made the biggest improvement of all of the changes I made. I'll generally shower every 2-3 days, and if I do something that makes me sweaty I'll hop in the shower and rinse off without using any product between those every other day showers
On the other hand, for OOP, they're making some big changes and probably need the consistency of every day to help maintain the habit they're building
I'm an old guy and have been showering daily since I was young. I feel itchy when I go 48 hours without showering. Never had any significant skin issues.
But there's a pretty big difference between every three days and every month.
Your body gets used to it.
Showering every day is also bad for your skin.
I'm not the best guide for how often to shower, but every dermatologist-written guide I've read does indicate that a daily shower is unnecessary for most people and will (for most people) dry your skin. It can also damage your hair. This is true even in the absence of soap/detergent/shampoo.
That said, if you do anything that causes you to sweat, I think it's prudent to do a quick rinse because you always smell worse to other people than you do to yourself due to olfactory saturation.
Itchy. Very itchy.
And sticky. If I go a few days I can feel my skin sticking more to my clothes.
I just have to shower daily in the summer. There is nothing worse than that feeling of sticky skin in bed. Rest of the year every 2 days is what I usually go with.
I feel gross if I don't brush right after coffee. Can't imagine a month.
Coffee is acidic. If you're brushing right after coffee, you may be damaging the enamel of your teeth (acid + scrubbing is not a good combination). And it can't grow back; once you've lost it, it's gone forever.
Omg, I hate the internet. It wasn't literal, dude.
Excuse me but I think the word you wanted to use there is figurative. Literal doesn't mean literal anymore.
:P
What must his teeth look like? And his breath smell like? Ugh.
Old orange Tic-Tac stumps.
