Encountering Mr. Fog
(midwest.social)
The Picard Maneuver
People TwitterHappened to me on a visit to a new york coffee shop. after ordering an iced coffee, the lady asked me "what's ice?"
I must have looked at her in confusion for like 30 seconds before realizing that she didn't ask what ice was, and instead said "what size?"
I know it's completely different, but for some reason it reminds me of this story:
So there’s only one channel in this motel. This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.
They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.
Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”
Uhh... Sure, I'll try the super salad...
This one happened to me once when I was a kid. I was like "what's a super salad?" My sister thought it was funny as hell.
I read this as Mr. Frog
Oh...hello.
I got pulled over and the cop shouted "HELLO? Can you see me?"
Uh, yes?
"I'm asking because of the thick fog"
It was a cloudless sunny day. I stared at him blankly.
"Your fog lights are on. License and registration please."
What magical world do you live in where cops pull people over for leaving the fog lights on?
Around here (the US), that's the kind of thing cops do when they're actually racially profiling you and looking for a pretext.
My (ambiguously brown) wife once got pulled over late at night in rural South Carolina for "one tail light not lighting up as brightly as the other."
nowadays this is actually a good thing, because even fog lights are so goddamn bright that they blind you
but yeah a decade ago who gave a shit. 10 year old highbeams are less blinding than a new car's lowbeams
Germany
Was the cop teasing you or did you actually get a fine for this?
He let me off with a warning. He saw we were a bunch of 18-year-olds in a shitty old hatchback, running fog lights cause we thought it looked cool, and probably decided to have a bit of fun.
Verboten!
Useless anecdote: My first girlfriend was Russian and immigrated to Germany with her family when she was 7.
"Verboten" was the first word she learnt to read in German, cause it's written on signs everywhere.
Was her second word "ACHTUNG!"?
Fun fact: Fun is definitely verboten in Germany
Buddy of mine got a citation for wrong use of the vehicles lights. A fine of the equivalent of 300USD. What did he do? He had been driving in fog, and didn't switch off his fog lights. He was pulled over less than a km out of the fog. Dude was pissed.
Rightfully so, outside of fog fog lights are fucking annoying.
But still, he was just in fog and expected to be in fog again in a moment. Maybe it's just me, I don't have a problem with people's fog lights. What I do take issue to is people using auto hi beams, because they turn down too late.
The real answer is you turn on Mr. Lights
Here in Sweden, all cars are required to always have their lights on when the car is moving/active, regardless of time of day or weather.
I was about to reply that sometimes it is better to not use your high beams in fog, as it is can reduce your visibility.
But then I realized that most places don't have our laws of lights, so I wrote this commwnt instead.
I wish we made lights on mandatory. And also made certain levels of brightness illegal for the regualar lights.
this is fucking hell when every car nowadays has blinding headlights
I strobe people with my LED highbeams when they're shining those offending things at me when it's nowhere near dark out. dim your fucking lights, asshole, there's no need for me to be blinded by a second sun at 3pm
Here people actually tend to dim their lights before blinding others, it is not uncommon to approach the top of a hill and see the light from an oncoming car dim before you see the lights.
High beams during daytime is not really an issue here, I have driven since 2023 (driven a LOT), and have only seen it a few times.
In Canada we are required to have Daytime Running Lights (DRLs) which are less bright and are just on by default, but they don't turn on the tail lights. For the most part, DRLs use the same bulbs as the high beams but at a lower wattage or something (I am not an electrician)
But yes I agree, high beams and fog don't mix.
My DRL are LED while my main headlights and high beams are halogen
Oh weird maybe it's different depending on the vehicle and maybe newer vehicles have separate bulbs. The car that I had where the DRLs and high beams were the same was an '05 Accord.
Austria had a day time lights law when I learned to drive, it just made sense. Then they abolished that law again :(
Which means you do get idiots driving in fog or at dusk with their lights off.
Hell, the automatic lights aren't perfect either on my new car, in bright fog I still have to make sure I turn the lights on manually as otherwise the back lights are turned off (front is okay with the LEDs). Stupid design.
Low beams only
That’s Mister Low Beams to you!
Goddammit I was Mister Low Beams for years while I did my undergrad, my masters, and my PhD. Now I'm Doctor Low Beams. Don't you forget it!
People can't seem to manage that these days even for darkness, and you expect them to do it for fog?!
(I blame DRLs. SO MANY people driving around with what appear to be headlights on, but no tail lights because they didn't actually turn the switch or something. SMH.)
of all the mandated safety systems on vehicles, the fact that automatic headlights arent one of them is astounding to me. I've had automatic headlights in nearly every vehicle I've owned for the last 20 years, none of which were particularly high end, and seeing there's vehicles out there that still don't come with it is nuts.
It's mostly newer cars that I see going around without their tail lights on. I only drive older cars so I don't know from personal experience, but I think 'automatic headights' might more likely be part of the problem.
automatic headlights turn on when a light sensor on the dash detects that it's dark enough out to need the headlights on, when the headlights are on, the tail running lights are on as well. If you see a car at night with it's tail lights off, it either doesn't have automatic headlights or the dumbass at the wheel turned them off.
Annoying thing with those is driving where the law requires lights to be on when using wipers in the rain. But the rain isn't always enough to make it dark enough to activate automatic lights. So you have to switch your lights to on rather than automatic.
I share your pain. I drive with my lights on at all times unless it's fully sunny, in which case I use just the DRLs. I truly think having your lights on hugely reduces your risk of an accident.
Honestly they should just be designing cars to include tail lights in RDLs, there's no reason for them not to be on all the time tbh.
Sometimes Mr. Lights can be a tricky man to turn on he's complicated with rapidly evolving interests and kinks.
Clearly a lot of people have trouble keeping up with them 😪
Don't forget Mrs. Hazards. All those ladies let each other know where it's safe to be.
I did hear recently that authorities are informing people not to use hazards just to be seen during inclement weather and that they should actually be saved for emergencies.
This is a battle that they have been fighting (and losing) in Florida for decades. People still do it.
Oh wow I didnt know that, this was the first I had heard it
Tell that to everyone who is double parked, lol.
That said, I've driven in a sudden thick fog before on a freeway and the hazards helped everyone see each other. This was like 1 meter of visibility and everyone just moved at a slow speed until we were out of it. I think it was slightly more reliable than break lights, but only just.
This was in response to everyone using them during a blizzard.
I think the reason specifically is because the hazards are meant to indicate reduced speed, so maybe they were stating not to use them if not driving at reduced speed? I know our drivers handbook tells us to use them in reduced visibility "if driving at a greatly reduced speed"
According to a different article I just read, you should only use your hazards when your vehicle is posing a hazard to other vehicles. Its a small distinction.
Yes, that tracks. In very heavy fog, you should be at a reduced speed since you can't see more than a meter in front of you. I imagine that's true in a blizzard too. Your second reading is a little confusing though, I imagine in most cases like this a slowed vehicle is a hazard to others...
Yeah thats just the wording I've read, it seems ambiguous to me as well. I wish it was more clear-cut.
No! If you think you need hazard lights to be seen while driving, the weather is so bad you just need to pull the fuck over and wait it out.
Hazard lights are for when your car is disabled on the side of the road, not for when you're driving.
Bro didn't miss improv class
Yes and he was taking notes!
France is bacon!
TIL
::: spoiler Tap for spoiler https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/france-is-bacon :::
Then we go to the restaurant and order the super salad
Definitely happened
I'd like to imagine that if something like this ever actually happened, the cop would start saying "fog or mist" instead.
"Who is 'Fogger Mist' officer? Patron saint of precipitation?"
