How true do you think this is?
(midwest.social)
LadyButterfly she/her
WomensStuffIt's true only insofar as "every man" is expected to literally mean 100% of men.
I think it's fair to say most men don't believe they ever mistreat women, even if they do.
But as a man, I also have learned and grown a lot in this area over the course of my own relationships. So change certainly happens, and it's important we keep increasing the share of men who work to unlearn misogyny and treat women better.
I don’t know if it’s right or wrong but I do know many of the guys who say “not all men” tend to be the ones that don’t treat women well.
No one really ever thinks they're evil.
You're right. Remember years back when everyone suddenly became "anti-bully"? It was doomed to fail, and I called it out at the time, because "bully" is less an identity and more a thing almost everyone has done at some point (even if they don't remember it.) People don't tend to self-identify as "bullies." Those who make a habit out of picking on others see it as acceptable, because it raises their social clout and/or makes them feel better about themselves. They're going to ignore messaging directed at "bullies" because they don't see themselves as being one. The entire idea of targeting "bullies" was a snipe hunt from the start. It's an easy rallying cry to make but a complicated issue to solve.
The same goes here, with those who are abusive not thinking they are abusers. Whether it's a kid putting down the "weirdo" to make their friends laugh, an entitled man guilt-tripping his girlfriend into having sex against her wishes, or a narcissist parent who humiliates their own kid then claims they're trying to "help" them, the people doing these things don't see themselves as "bad." They all think what they're doing is normal.
As long as protecting their egos is considered more important than everything else, they'll continue to fail at the empathizing and self-reflection they need to improve themselves.
Besides disagreeing with the conclusion, I'm deeply suspicious of accounts with "radfem" in the name since that's what TERFs like to call themselves.
I just call them transphobes, as I don't perceive them to be feminist in any way. If they were, then they wouldn't be fighting to reduce their own bathroom access, fighting to subject people to nonconsensual bodily inspections, and so on.
Extremely true! It can help to understand the type of transphobe so you can pick up on dog whistles like radfem more easily of course.
Sounds like she's rationalizing her mistreatment of men.
Misogynist. Probably a dude.
This is a women's only community. If you happen to be a woman or in one of the other groups covered under the sidebar, why are you inventing a ridiculous interpretation of this comment? If you're not, kindly leave us.
Swap the genders and the OOP sounds like a mass shooter’s manifesto.
If you think what I said is ridiculous, you’re telling on yourself.
The old "No one would put up with this if you swapped the genders" bullshit. Tired. There's a reason we use context and nuance in our interpretations, because women are systematically abused by the favoured gender.
You're not just reading between the lines, you're looking at something else entirely.
The first half is true. The conclusion is wrong.
No one ever thinks they're in the wrong while they're doing something. No one. The fact that they are doing it is evidence that they have a justification for it. People only realize they're the problem after they do a thing. That's not just men. That's how we all work. Men change when they can be convinced that their past behavior was wrong.
Thank you! I can't stand the sentiment that people can't change. It's so harmful.
I agree. I think the reason that this kind of behavior is so prominent in men is that the world around them tends to be more approving of men in general. A patriarchal society will be more forgiving and allow worse behavior to fester in men while being more scrutinizing and judgemental of "others".
Himpathy. It's a real thing.
The statement cuts both ways - could apply to both men who mistreat women and men who treat women with respect and equality.
It depends on the man and what he thinks women deserve.
A man who treats women well is also not a man easily convinced to change.
I can't tell if they know it's wrong deep down, or they just know that others think it's wrong.
